Failure

Hey thanks for clicking open the blog…with a title like that it can be kind of overwhelming!

In the state I grew up in, you could go and get your drivers license at the age of 16.First I took the behind the wheel test, passed and then it was on to the written portion of the test…which if my memory serves me correctly was actually done on a computer. I took the test and afterward went up to the DMV lady behind the counter for my results…”failed”.

I would have to come back and re-take the test.

I attended college to earn a degree in dental hygiene. I took two years of pre-req’s and then applied for the dental hygiene program. I was accepted into the program and worked very hard for two years. My senior year of hygiene school was very intense, I was taking 20+ credits a term, seeing patients in clinic, senior project, working part time, pursuing my “potential husband”, and studying for boards. To obtain my dental hygienist license I had to take a written and clinical anesthesia board, a national written exam, graduate and take clinical boards.

I took my clinical boards and then had to wait for the results to come in the mail.

I was going out to the mailbox everyday in anticipation. One day my results came in the mail. I ran back into my apartment tore open the big envelope and the only word that stood out on the page was “FAILED”…it was in big black bold letters…and the text seemed to get bigger and bolder the longer I stood there.

I would have to wait a period of time and re-take the clinical board exam.

If it is one thing this prideful, perfectionist, stubborn, needing to be in control girlie doesn’t do well with it is failure!

I think I could list things I haven’t tried in my life because I was too afraid of failing. Maybe you can relate and maybe you can’t. To continue on the whole honesty and bearing my heart here on the blog today…I was truly afraid of being a mom…its why I told myself and others for awhile “I just don’t think I will be a mom” .I was quite alright with it…I didn’t want to fail!

But God.

He has other plans for us. I am a mom…and just so you know…I don’t drive a car pool…in case you are still concerned about me failing the whole drivers test…oh and currently the only teeth cleaning I do…is my dogs!

In just these past few days…I have been presented with a different aspect of the fear of failing.

Failing in my faith.

Now please hear my heart on this…and keep with me. I am not ready to cash in the whole thing…my relationship with my Jesus is my purpose for living…I am sure of that!

But I fear if I don’t stretch my faith…walk out in faith…leap in faith…grab on to my Jesus’ hand and just go for it…

Then I could be failing the whole faith thing.

I have been reading in Mark chapters 4-6 these past few days. And there is a bunch of faith examples.

At the end of Mark 4…the disciples find themselves in a storm and Jesus asks them…

“Why are you so afraid? Do you still have not faith?” Mark 4:40

Fear and faith.

In Mark chapter 5 we see Jairus come to Jesus in faith.

“My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live” Mark 5:22

And a women who had suffered many years, reaches out in faith and touches His robe.

“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:34

Faith takes the place of fear. Faith heals. Faith gives life.

Yesterday as I sat and listened to Pastor Mike preach an amazing sermon, there was one verse and question that has stuck with me.

This is Jesus speaking…

“I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” John 14:12

Do I believe Jesus? Really ‘greater things’ then Him? Do I have that kind of faith?

Jesus is the truth. What He says is!

So this morning as I was asking God to make the connection between what I know in my head and catch my heart up…I read this in Mark 6…

“He could not do any miracles there, except lay His hands on a few sick people and heal them. And He was amazed at their lack of faith.” Mark 6:5-6

Jesus wanted to do greater things. He had greater things to do…but the people let their pride and unbelief get in the way!

I am afraid to fail. That’s the honest to goodness truth.

But I hear my Jesus on this one…and I know in Him all things are possible.

This faith thing is not something I will get right every time…or even be able to perfect…He perfects our faith! Amen!

I find myself on this Monday hearing His voice, listening and obeying.

Am I scared? You bet!

But faith requires action.

And in my action I am choosing to believe Jesus is faithful to fulfill His promises!