Friday, August 21, 2009

Am I ready for this?

Hello! Welcome to the blog! I am glad you are here. I have missed being here on a regular basis, and I have also missed reading your blogs. But I have tried to stay pretty good about resting, recovering and healing. As the Engineer will be the first witness in line, having me slow down and not do anything truly is a difficult task for me. I am a girl who likes to do stuff!

Well that time has come for us. Yep the time that makes a momma ask out loud to her Jesus,

"Am I ready for this?"

Last night we had our first parent meeting…we officially are starting school next week. We have one extremely excited back-pack wearing boy who is ready to join in the adventures of Kindergarten, one younger little brother who doesn’t know where to fit in and two nervous and scared parents.

So I find myself at the parent meeting last night dressed way un-hip, and un-cool and not so stylish…as it seemed that every other momma in the room was way cute and dressed ever so impressive. But friends I could NOT find something that wouldn’t rub, irritate, squish, or squeeze, my incision marks and fit over my swollen belly…so I went wearing a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt and flip-flops! So I am saying publicly this morning to my son…’sorry Ty for the outfit last night, I will try to have myself a little more presentable for the first day of school!’

As I am sitting there looking like I should be out running…knowing full heartedly that my body wouldn’t do it…my heart felt like running too…oh and not to mention the tears that felt like running. And as I asked my question, the question no one else in the room heard, one just between me and my Jesus,

"Am I ready for this?"

I heard the whisper from my Jesus,

Nichole be strong and courageous, not for yourself, but for that little guy over there who is sitting on his daddies lap. He is watching you and he needs you to show him that strength and courage can be found.

So friends the tears didn’t come running out. I sucked them back in, finished the meeting, and then we went to find his classroom!

I am NOT ready for this; all of my flesh wants to just hold on tight to that little guy.

But then as we met his teacher for the first time last night I was reminded of a conversation that took place in the car a couple weeks ago…

Ty (the soon to be kindergartner) was sitting in the back seat with his papers from church in his lap. He was explaining their activity was to color the different things that they pray for. He colored his friends, and his family, his food. But then he told us he didn’t color his teacher because he didn’t know her name and didn’t know her yet.

We explained that we could be praying for her now even if we didn’t her name or know her because Jesus did!

Then he asked the question that brings this all together for me!

"Mommy what if my teacher doesn’t know Jesus?"

And that is when the Creator opened up the roof of our car and smiled this GREAT huge smile and told this momma a thing or two…

Nichole this is my boy, and he has work to do!

Oh Friends if I could express in words what I felt in that very moment…huge confirmation.

Confirmation that the Engineer and I are doing what we were asked to do.

Stepping out in faith and putting our boys in public school!

Please join me Monday as we start our new series on Sex...and trust me there is a great story of confirmation that goes along with I have stood before Jesus many times these past two weeks asking "Am I ready for this?" "Are you sure, I'm the girl for this?" Just this week He brought a GREAT story of confirmation! Join me on Monday!


Pinkshoelady said...

The question is not "Are we ready for this?" But "Is God ready for this?" I am asking myself the same two questions on a completely different area. No I'm not ready..But God is therefore I must follow and let go.
I'll pray with you and for you my friend. Transitions are hard!
Love Pamela

Anonymous said...

I havent talked with you in years. Since High School actually. I came across your blog from FB. My oldest daughter, who is 7 actually witnessed to her first grade teacher and was so excited to tell me about it. God gave me that same confirmation that My husband are indeed raising our kids right. To love others and share Jesus with them. Isnt it a wonderful feeling? I enjoy reading your blog, you truly inspire me.


Runner Mom said...

Hey, girlfriend! I used to be that public school kindergarten teacher! What a joy it was to have a student talk to me about Jesus or ask a question!! I loved it! I couldn't ask, but if the child did and talked about it, then all was well! What an awesome opp Ty has! Pray with him each day before you drop him off in makes a difference!
Hope you continue to heal! Bless your heart! I am sure you looke difne in those running shorts!! I am with you!!

Sue J. said...

I didn't tear up until the CJ walked herself onto the bus and didn't look back!! RJ2 is going to do that to me this year, and I'll probably, once again, find myself in the "boo hoo" club!

Your son will bring home some interesting stories, no doubt. Are we ever completely ready for any of this?? I ask myself that a lot. But, I know that this is why we lean on Him--because He's the only one who can open the car roof!

Glad you are recovering well!!

Lori said...

Nichole~ Wow, what a God Moment. He truly just wrapped His glorious wings around you and told you everything is going to be ok. The little guy is transitioning and beginning to spread his own wings. That's a good thing -hard tho on Mom! You are just beginning! Hold on, you're in for a ride. :)
Not only will he be a witness, but you will have many opportunities as well! People will watch your actions and words and will be drawn to the Jesus in you! PTL!!!
Thanks for brightening my Friday afternoon, my friend!
Prayers coming your way, Lori - AZ

Truth4thejourney said...

What a heartfelt post! I hadn't been blogging much over the summer so I didn't know about your surgery - I'm sorry for that! But praising God that it's over and you're tumor free! YEAH!

School. Not an easy surrender but a necessary one. Treasure your times with the younger one and the days will flow quickly.

God Bless,
Sonya Lee

Irritable Mother said...

Ah, Nichole, whether or not you feel ready for this, God is all over it! He is not worried, or fearful about how the first day will go. He's got it all under control, and you can trust Him.

And believe it, or not, God DOES attend public schools! I know, because I've walked the halls and talked with Him there.
I know there are all kinds of reasons to send your children to private, Christian school - I know that can be a good thing - but God's Spirit is not limited to those schools.
I met Jesus while attending a secular university, through the witness of a faithful Christian. And I believe my children can be a gift, even an instrument of God, to their classmates and teachers in the public school.
Hang in there, Momma. God is faithful and you're all going to be just fine.

Love to you,

Sandy said...

oh Nichole, I am so glad that I found your blog and this post.

That is so awesome that your little boy said that!
The tears will come sometimes, but God is ready!
I'm praying for you!

Kimberly said...

Praying for your sweet little man and for you!

Love to you!
K :)

Cindy said...

I remember those days before my two boys started school as if they were yesterday and now I have a granddaughter who just started kindergarten I said in my post...time does not stand still...oh my, where has it gone?

Praying for you in this very new season of your life:)

Thanking God that you are healing well and looking forward to the next series of posts.

Blessings, Cindy

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Well, I'm just completely out of the loop with your world! Glad you're in recovery; sad for your "letting go"; interested in your thoughts on sex. How's that for a comment?!

I've been (at some level) where you sit tonight with surgery, with letting go of youngin's and thoughts about sex.

So, let's get to it and see what happens. I can't promise I have much to offer in regards to the sex talk, but if you need a shoulder regarding little boy going to school, I'm all over that one friend! I've cried enough snot and tears for the whole lot of us ... especially this year as I now have two sons in college and two still at home.

Mercy; I'm exhausted just typing this.

Love you~elaine

Joyful said...

Nichole, I don't know if you read my post about God calling us to enroll our son in the public school system, but you can here: I have not one moment of regret and God opened such amazing doors. For us, it was His choice as well.

Also, I'm going to e-mail you that prayer right now before I forget.