Monday, October 11, 2010

Come on over

Hello friends and family I am super happy to invite you to come on over!

Because of the talent of some super smart computer guys I now am located in one convenient location!

My website:

The super smart computer guys were able to combine it all into one nice package!

Thank you super smart computer guys!

Can I just mention that they also spent time via email and the phone 'trying' to train me?!

Which means they were trying to 'install' some computer guru stuff into this chocolate loving, shoe wearin' girlie mind of mine...not easy stuff.

Anyway the applause goes out to them, the guys at Five Talent.

So I will be officially over there now.

So if you have been installed with some computer guru stuff and you know how to get over there...great come visit me!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Visitor

Hello friends!  There are so many times I wish I could remove this screen and spend time with you face to face...especially over some super yummy Oregon Chai and maybe some chocolate chip banana bread!!  Yum!  Oh and especially right now boy do I need some company...if you haven't heard I am out here in this place called the wilderness...I know some of you are truly tired of hearing about it...imagine living it my friends?!?!

So if there are undertones of me whining in this post...well then have a sympathy moment for me and then move on.  (Smiling and thanking you across the screen!)

So out here in the wilderness I am truly soaking in some student -teacher time.  Me being the student and my Creator teaching some most amazing details.  I am hearing Him, seeing Him and experiencing Him.  He is all over this wilderness...shouldn't surprise me since He is the Creator of this place.  As I find myself months into 'this place', that's what I am calling it, 'this place'.  Some call it a season.  So you can if you like, but all I know is I am NOT calling it home.  For I am passing through.  I am purposefully going through it.  Learning, hearing, changing, shifting, renewing, resting, growing, repenting, all of the above I will do and more in 'this place', but I am not calling it home!

Being here gets lonely, especially for me, a people person like no other.  I enjoy people.  I enjoy seeing them, hearing about their stories, living vicariously through them as they go on vacations, I truly enjoy people.  So being out here in 'this place' gets lonely.  Now don't get me wrong and please hear my heart on this, I know God is with me, for He truly is the air I am breathing out here, and it is of NO disrespect or am I in anyway dishonoring Him.  But in my humanness I am lonely.

Being very small in comparison I have personally been able to experience what Jesus must have felt like in the Garden as He prayed for His Father to take this whole dying on the cross thing away from Him.  Loneliness is loneliness.

Last night I had a visitor.  Someone who has known me for many years. He has had a front row seat to view some serious life shifts within this shoe loving girl!  But he hasn't only been an observer. Rather he has been an investor into my life in many ways. 

Last night God allowed me to have a visitor out here in the wilderness.  And the visitor came, he stayed and he prayed with me.  I am praising Him for an Engineer who will trek out and meet a girl out here for a visit!

As I remain in Him I am trusting that He knows just what and who I need, and just why and when.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

And now Go Home!

If you read the blog yesterday then today’s blog will make a little more sense to you, I hope!

I thought I would clarify a few things from yesterday. Not necessarily for you, most likely for me. I tend to think things over…its not always a positive thing…my thoughts can go on and on! (Engineering nodding in agreement)

So yesterday my heart was filled with the realization that God has called each one of us home.

Home being a personal grace and love filled relationship with Him.

Now one day I know we will be going to eternity to live with Him, but that’s not what yesterday was about.

This relationship is about living today with Him.

This is more than religion, more than church going, more than a Christian checklist.

This is relationship.

And if you haven’t gone home, I am praying He is speaking to you and that your heart is hearing Him.

It truly is why we were created. It’s our purpose.

God wanted us. He wanted us so He created us. He loves us and wants us to know that, see that and experience that. And for that to be we need to be in a grace and love filled relationship with Him.

There is something truly amazing when you get things in the order of right design.

When you go and meet with your Creator and you commit to being in a grace and loved filled relationship with Him life has a way of working itself into a rhythm. A divine design.

Does that all make sense up to this point?

Once you are there living in relationship with Him, your starting point, He will then direct you in the next steps. But friends you can’t jump into the middle of this thing called life and expect anything to flow, work out or run smoothly unless you start with Him.

He has to be the starting point of your journey.

You have to ‘go home’ first.

When I truly sensed I was getting this deep in the core of myself. A realignment of my priorities. Which I truly feel He is so graceful to help us do I heard Him speak again.

“And now go home!”


And in the midst of doing life. Making breakfast, filling the washing machine, feeding the dog, delivering my oldest to school, it hit me. I am to be home!

God had my attention.

If I wanted the marriage He designed for me to have:

  • I was to be there 100% for the Engineer. I was to be all in for him. To be his listening ear, to be his encourager, to be everything he needed his wife to be.


 If I wanted to be the mom that our boys needed:


  •  I was be fully devoted to the boys. To be available, ready, and willing.



If I wanted my family to know and experience Jesus:


  •  I was to serve my family.


And I can I just say that I know myself pretty darn good to say I SO would not have been ready for Him to tell me to ‘go home’ if I hadn’t had ‘gone home’ to Him first.


Does that make sense?


Friends it’s just a new deeper level of God reminding me of my priority list.

My relationship with Him.

My marriage.

My role as the momma.

I have the honor and privilege of doing life with one amazing Engineer and two super fun boys…and the joy of that hits me more now than ever.

All because I went home!

Can I ask you a bold question today?

Are you home?

No really, is your mind, heart and soul at home?

How is your marriage?

How are your kids?

How is the health of your family?

Just maybe God is calling you to come home to Him so He can say

“And now Go Home!”

I am praying with and for you friend!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Go Home

The whole point of this blog is so that people can come here and experience God.

And these past few days it has been on my heart and mind that the point of my life is so others can experience God.

Does that make sense?

Really the point of me living my life on purpose, is so that others can see that God is real, amazing, holy, perfect and divine.

Now read that correctly…not that Nichole is amazing, holy, perfect and divine. But that God is!

That God can take a real broken girl and work in her and through her to show off his amazing, holy, perfect and divine self.

Sitting with Him in these past few months has overwhelmed me in many ways. One in which I truly think I never want to leave His side again…meaning I don’t ever want to be running so far ahead that I can’t hear His heartbeat, feel His hand upon me, or know His voice!

Sitting with Him has me in a really teachable spot in life, and with that teaching He has opened my eyes and ears. I have been made aware of some areas in my life that needed some work.

All of the above is to prepare your heart and mind for what follows in this post, so please know that I am not ‘preaching’ at you, I am sharing what’s going on in my life and just maybe someone else out there needs to know. Needs to know so they can be encouraged to hear Him, to grab His hand, to allow His grace and love to pour over them.

The other day I heard this come out of the mouth of Beth Moore…

“He wants you home”

And as soon as my ears heard it my heart confirmed it was from my Jesus!

Those four words above are so packed full. Packed on purpose. Packed by His hands, and when you hear them friend know that if they meet your precious heart that they come surrounded in grace and love.

“He wants you home”

We were created for one reason, to be in relationship with Him. That’s what this whole life thing is all about. I know there is a lot competing for your attention, jobs, family, finances, health issues, stress, and more stress. But will you take a few seconds and hear your Creator…

“I want you home”

Like I said above those words moved me when I heard them. They moved me closer to His heart. Because I realized its where I truly desire and need to be.

I am praying right now that if you are done,



Being lonely

Trying it on your own

That you will join me in hearing His Words to us.

“I want you home”

And because I believe we both need the time to fully process what He is asking of us. I am going to pause right here.

Please join me in thinking about His request, pray it over, I would love to join you in prayer so if you want leave a request!

Know you are loved on purpose!

Monday, September 20, 2010

One in a Million- Part 5 (It's the last one!)

Thank you so much for joining me on the blog to review One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer. Today I will wrap up this little series but I can’t say the packaging and bow will be all pretty, why? Well because things just don’t feel all pretty and well presentable right now.

Life is being lived in the middle of the wilderness. A place that is totally foreign to me. I am not calling the lessons, I know it’s NOT a new concept for some, but for me, it’s a hard walk to walk right now.

There is a lot of change going on inside this girl…and all I can say is that thankfully I am in the wilderness cause it doesn’t look so pretty!

I have shouted and yelled a few times,

‘why in the world do you think I can handle this? And now of all times? Really?’

I have to be totally honest with you, there have been times I want to run so fast out of this wilderness…I have spent time (maybe even wasted some time) looking for the quickest out.

And yet when I see the outs, all of them point back to Egypt and the past and there is just something, something that doesn’t quite fit anymore with that place.

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do; Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13,14

Does that mean something is working out here in the wilderness?

Does that mean that just maybe my heart is tuning into I was meant for something different?

A Promised Land.

Even though I am experiencing a ‘feeling’ of loneliness out here in this wilderness I know I am not alone.

For out here I am sensing His presence in ways that I haven’t before.

I am tasting a food that I have never tasted. Food that was hidden out here in the wilderness for me all along.

The presence, the teaching, the food it’s all good.

But again I would be fooling you and myself to say that the wilderness is a vacation.

You see out here I am also more aware of the enemies workings. The enemy has tried yanking on emotions, messing with my mind, tweeking with my health, oh and the list goes on…the enemy must know how great the Promised Land is because he is trying to keep me from it.

Journal Entry while reading One in a Million:

Lord help me not rush through this season of sitting with You. As I was reading One in a Million yesterday the message that is sticking with me, is to NOT want the Promised Land more than I want You. Lord I want to learn a lot in this season. I want to know Your Word more, I want to build faith, I want to strengthen my perseverance, I want to trust You more, I want to learn to continually pray w/out ceasing, I want my thoughts to be pure, I want self- control, and many more things. But Lord MORE than anything I want You. I want to know You more. I want to learn who You are. I want to know Your characteristics as my God because I experience them. Lord as I type this I know with this wanting comes ‘a need to live it out’. Help me know this is not about earning, striving or doing it myself. Rather a life that is fully surrendered to allowing the power of the Holy Spirit to carry me! Please Lord!

Friends this has been a great book! I highly recommend it. But more than the book I recommend time with your Creator. A God who loves you more than anything. He wants to spend time with you. Please may I encourage you not to be afraid of the wilderness.

Journal Entry while reading One in a Million:

As I finished the book, One in a Million last night there were so many times I felt You loving on me. Speaking right to my heart. Whispers of encouragement, confirmation, assurance. Reminding me to stand strong and hold on tight to Your hand. Thank You Lord. I praise You for the peace You have filled my mind and heart with. A peace that speaks and says God knows and it’s all right. Everything is all right. This season of life is all right. Because You see and know and You are working. I pray Lord for the continued over powering of the Holy Spirit to flood my mind and heart, and remind me its not where this is taking me, or what’s happening next, or where I need to be going, but that I am with You. You! It’s about being with You, hearing from You, listening to You, applying what You are telling me, living in relationship with You. I pray Father God for a strong focus on what truly matters. A renewal of what You have called me to. Being in relationship with You.

A Prayer:

Lord we want to see You… to hear Your voice, the voice that has called us to abundant life. Lord I pray hard right now, a passion burning inside me, more than anything I want others to find You, fall in love with You and decide to run after You with everything they’ve got. Lord that the world would grow dim to us all. That we would know deep in our hearts a love that is like nothing we could ever understand, a love that truly gives us each breath, and a love that carries us to each moment. Your love. I know I don’t deserve it, can’t earn it, and will never truly wrap my little head around the why You give it, but Father God, thank You. Thank You for loving me. Purely, passionately, intimately. Loving me in moments that change my heart for the next. I love You, because You enable me too. Thank You Jesus for being the mediator, for standing in my place, to make this moment with You all possible. I love You, Amen

Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day- and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing. 2 Timothy 4:8

Thursday, September 16, 2010

One in a Million- Part 4

Thank you for joining me on this soul reaching look at the book, One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer. It’s a great read! And I am so thankful my sweet and precious friend returned it to my doorstep when she was finished with it so I could continue on from page 88!

We have established from last time that everyone starts in Egypt. And maybe some of us even left a foot in because of comfort.

We were created for a breath taking relationship with our Creator and yet many settle just this side of it.


To truly experience and live the life we were designed for, we have to leave.

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:16

We have to leave and walk into the wilderness.

I am grateful for a love so amazing that not only does He want to deliver us from Egypt He want to bring us through the wilderness to develop our character, the very character He created us to have.

And when He develops our character He brings us fully to Him, our destiny. Our abundant life, an intimate grace and love filled relationship with Him our Creator.

I am praying for the power of the Holy Spirit to tug on our hearts, to move us to take the steps and to carry us on the journey.

Friends this is more than religion.

Many Israelites walking around in the wilderness had religion mastered.

But two had a relationship

A relationship that made them one in a million.

I have spent some hours in this wilderness and friends there are long minutes. There are long hours…that eventually lead to long days.

Some long lonely hard times. I know I am trying to sell you on this whole idea to leave Egypt and encourage you to walk into the wilderness…but I am being completely honest…it’s not a trip many are willing to make. And frankly you will be considered weird by many.

“I must admit, it’s been quite a surprising journey. But once my appetite had been whet, there was no turning back. I was ruined. Mundane Christian living would no longer suffice. Not then, not now and by God’s grace, not ever again.” (One in a Million, Priscilla Shirer)

And your wilderness journey will not look like another. Because it was plotted out specifically for you. Details all put in place for you to experience God. And when those details start to be lived out, you will find yourself in the middle of the wilderness…

And it will hit you that you are NOT in the wilderness to identify all the tree species. You are NOT in the wilderness to create the best over the campfire dinner. You are NOT in the wilderness to critique the journey of all the other wilderness travelers.

The purpose of the wilderness is:

To hear Him.

To experience Him.

To fall more in love with Him.

It’s all about Him.

It’s not about pitchin’ a tent or fit for that matter.

It’s not about when you will get out.

And really it’s not about what is next.

It’s about the now, being in the now with Him.

The wilderness is not our design. We don’t get to draw the map, or call the turns. We don’t know the timeline. And we really need to be okay with that.

When we purposefully allow His grace to bring us completely out of Egypt, and allow Him to wrap us in His love, trust that He has great things for us; we will walk peacefully with Him through the wilderness. We will be intent on reaching the Promised Land.

And friends that’s living life on purpose!

“The magnificent obsession of the Jew was to experience the Messiah, to witness the ushering in of the kingdom of God with all its promised benefits.” (Jesus Christ Disciplemaker, Bill Hull)

Please join me next time as we gaze ahead on the Promised Land.

Monday, September 13, 2010

One in a Million- Part 3

I had just tucked one of my little ones into bed, the Engineer was finishing with the other. I found my book, my quilt and my oversized chair. I turned on the lamp that sat next to the chair and I started reading. Reading a book in which I knew I would find my Jesus. And boy did I. I was enjoying this book so much that I felt the ‘need’ to highlight some lines, some quotes, and some words that would need to be re-read. And yet I also felt the importance not to highlight. Why?

Not only was He to be found in the pages of this book, but more importantly He was to do some most divine work. As I read page after page I could hear Him whispering about how my friend needed this book. And I could hear myself too, yep she sure does it will be a great book for her to read, and I will pass it on when I am done! You see I might look old enough and mature enough on the outside but I struggle with sharing. I don’t like to share my oldest boy with his school for 6 ½ hrs a day…and in this moment I really didn’t want to share my really great book!

So I kept on reading and Jesus kept being right there. As I was reading I was learning so much about how I had to leave Egypt, not just one foot, but both. Both had to go. Both feet had to journey. And my eyes had to be fixed on Him, and my hand had to hold tight to His. For leaving Egypt meant I was headed into the wilderness. To sit with Him. I had to leave my way of doing things. I was very comfortable doing it all my way. Now hear my heart on this. Yes I am a Jesus loving girl and I do follow hard after Him, but I had ever let Him have me completely. Why? Because I was busy running. Running for Him…I know you will start to see all the craziness of me mixed in here. It was for Him…but not fully fueled by Him. Silly how a pride control issue girl can get in the way but it happens. Leaving Egypt meant I would be leaving my way of doing things, marriage, motherhood, being a neighbor and friend, and ministry.

Marriage would be different.

Motherhood would be different.

Church would be different.

Nichole would be different.

I stopped reading on page 88.
I go to bed that night with my book resting comfy on the nightstand. I turn off my light, talk with my Jesus and rest. When I wake in the morning I head out to the back porch to let my Ellie girl outside (the dog) and as I step onto the back porch it smelled different. Different good.

I had walked into something different. I had taken steps. And there was something inside me that felt so good about it. Felt right.

As I stood in my kitchen making breakfast for the boys again I heard my Jesus. And again He was telling me to share. Share the book.

You see I truly believe that I had to leave Egypt.

I truly believe my friend had to leave Egypt. Not in a judgmental way as I thought anything bad of her. No not at all. Rather because I truly love her so much and want to cheer her on to ALL that God has designed for her.

I took the book to her. Stood on her front porch, hugged her neck, told her I love her and handed over the book.

The book that I hadn’t even finished yet. A journey I had just started myself. And yet I knew it was all worth it. So worth it that I want others to come.

Today I have the honor and privilege of introducing you to Sabin. My friend. A friend who truly lives life. She has read the book and below is sharing a piece of her heart with you all. Please all Jesus to meet you in these words below. Allow it to encourage you to leave Egypt and come on this journey.

"Have you ever dreamed BIG? I mean really BIG? Let your mind wander, fantasize about the possibilities, become giddy with anticipation, kind of BIG? My husband and I have. We have dreamt just in that way about having more children. We have one incredible little boy and would desperately like to add to our family. Therein lies the problem. With desperation comes skewed thinking. Somehow worship of the Lord falls way down the ladder of priorities only to be replaced by worship of conceiving. In the amazing book, One in a Million, we learn the Lord will come and claim back His rightful place.

Our dream of having more children seemed so close. Then the heavenly whispering of a Father to His child began, "Do you trust Me?" and "Are you willing to submit to My will even if your dream isn't part of it?" Over and over again I heard these questions asked of me, and over and over again I responded with anger and fear, "If You love me so much WHERE IS MY BABY???" Hot tears streamed down my face most days. Indignation that He wasn't "fair" clouded my view. I was so close to the situation I couldn't see straight, I couldn't hear, or perhaps I wasn't willing to listen.

My dear beloved friend Nichole knew of this journey and this pain and brought me One in a Million at the exact moment God told her to. The moment He knew I was ready to hear, listen and obey. One in a Million is a story of courage. It is YOURS and my story of being claimed by Christ for freedom and abundant living. To journey to the Promised Land that HE has chosen for us. It is a story about the journey He walks with us to get to the Promised Land of our lives.

I choose to follow God irregardless of whether my dream of having more children comes true. I choose Him. I choose His perfect Will, perfect knowledge, perfect guidance, perfect love, and perfect desire to create me into His perfect image. It will be a journey, with great highs and great lows, but He will be there with us the entire way.

Dare to dream and live BIG! He is waiting for you."


Meet me back here next time when we talk a little bit more about the wilderness!