Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Come on Mom!

Have you ever had a moment in which you experienced your mind was in one spot and your heart in another?

I find myself in many of these spots, and a lot of them have to do with being a mom.

Yesterday was my last day of the summer with the boys.

Us three together. Sleeping in. Eating breakfast. Taking our time in the morning.

We went down to the greenway, a path that goes along the river. The boys rode ahead of me on their bikes.

And as I walked behind them. I saw a picture of where my mind is, up there watching them ahead of me living life. And I felt my heart. Way back behind them not quite caught up.

Every once in awhile the boys would stop on the path and holler back at me,

Come on Mom!

Cheering me on to catch up to them.

This morning I do another year of sharing my oldest little boy for 6 ½ hours a day. Yeah I kindly call it sharing. Because that’s what I am learning how to do. Any maybe you would think that after a year in Kindergarten last year I would be much better with this whole sharing thing, but nope, I’m not.

One six year old little boy is ready to do 1st grade.

He’s the one being brave and courageous.

He’s hollering back at me,

Come on Mom!

Cheering me on to catch up.

Do I feel odd about this?

Nope, I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be. Living life, learning each step how to be his momma. And praising my God for a most amazing little boy whose heart is filled with more grace and love than I will ever understand could possibly fit into his 40 pound body.

You see my mind knows I am to cheer him on to the life he was created to live out. And I will.

Because I am his mom.

And I hear a greater voice cheering me on from above,

Come on Mom!

And I know God will catch my heart up if and when it needs to happen.

Monday, August 30, 2010

It's the same girl

"Momma look at me."  as a she twirled around in her fluffy dress and her princess high heeled shoes.

"Hey dad did you see that?" as she swung the bat as hard as she could.

"Maybe, just maybe he will ask me to dance." as she waited at the 8th grade dance for him to ask.

"Are they out there?" as she scanned the audience for a few fans from the high school stage.

A college diploma, a wedding ringed finger, a career, a house, a baby, and another baby, still the same questions, still the same dance, still scanning the audience.

It's the same girl.

There came a moment in her heart when she realized that He saw her, He knew she was out there, and He had been asking her to dance for a very long time.

So she is dancing with Him.

But her heart can still find itself straining to hear, see and notice what others are thinking and saying.

So she asks Him today, turn up the music, please, drown all of the rest out.

The same girl needs to be overtaken by Him.

Him leading this dance.

The same girl needs to know that His love is what she was created for.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Something's Changing

My location, my height, my blood pressure, and my perspective is all changing.

For I am no longer running full speed ahead but rather sitting at His feet, and trying to allow His peace and calmness to surround me.

I am sitting and so my height has been shortened, this is truly a God thing, I would like to say I put myself here because wouldn't that be a good Christian girl answer, well I didn't.  But I can say this morning I am SO thankful He has humbled me.  No not punished me, humbled me, and sat me down so I can listen and learn.

And as the days go on I can sense that my rhythm and heart beats are slowing for there is balance being sought.

And in the short amount of time that I have been here I am truly seeing things differently.

For I was choosing to strive over serve.

I was trying to make things happen instead of join Him.

I was avoiding instead of obeying.

Not healing is truly staying captive and remaining in Egypt.

Taking steps to healing is walking towards the Promised Land.  Its not the speed at which you are traveling, but the direction.

Did you know that the Bible is filled with real people who lived in relationship with God?

And friends it's their relationship with Him that allowed Him to work in them and through them.

But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD.

This is the account of Noah.
Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God. Genesis 6:8-9

Noah didn't go off and build a boat and then come back and ask God to use it.  Noah was in relationship with God and God was able to use him.

In Exodus 3 and 4 we see God choose Moses to be the leader of His people.  Moses didn't prepare for years on how to be leader.  I believe Moses in all his humanness said yes to God and then allowed God to work through him.

Then there is David, not even his own family thought him worthy of being a king. (1 Samuel 16)  But God, God knew David was a man after His heart. (Acts 13:22)

I don't think Esther knew all that her title as queen of Persia would entail.  But she trusted and loved her God.  The book of Esther shares a beautiful story of a woman who was obedient and allowed her God to use her, and that is just what He did, in His perfect timing and way.

Oh and if we dare think that we have to get this whole relationship with Him mastered before He chooses us or uses us, think again. 

As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. Matthew 9:9

I don't think Matthew was sitting there preparing for Jesus to walk by.  But I do believe that Matthew's getting up and saying yes was the best decision he ever made.

And Mary, another one of God's girls. 

But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. Luke 1:30

How did she find favor with God?  Just being, being in relationship with Him.

And because of that relationship He was able to find her willing to be used by Him.

"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said."  Luke 1:38.

Something is changing for me.

A whole new focus, smell and place of being.

For I find myself not somewhere I would have taken myself, but truly enjoying being here.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

While I am sitting

Hello friends, thank you so much for your precious prayers and words of encouragement. 

Something my Pastor said the other night, well actually lots of what he said the other night is sticking with me, but one thing I will share this morning,

This really does sound like a God thing Nichole.

You see people who I live life with know me, they know I am not a 'sitter'.  And people who know God realize that many times He asks us to do things that are not in our girly red shoe wearing nature to do on our own.

But friends it SO tickles me to say that I have already in this 'short', but what truly feels like a very LONG season of sitting...ha...I know I am just getting started but I have to be honest with you all!  I am seeing and experiencing God in new ways.

The week or so before I left to go to She Speaks I was contacted and asked if I would like to read a copy of Priscilla Shirers newest book, One in a million and I found myself sitting the other day and picked it up and started to read.  There could NOT be a better time for me to have started this book.  Oh friends, it is the book that God has used to again confirm my reservation for this season with sitting with Him.

I want to share a little excerpt from this book;

It's easier to remain in the safety of where we've always been, doing the things we always done.  When the heavens open, when the wind of God's Spirit and the rain of His presence shower down upon us, we're uncomfortable beneath the torrent of the unfamiliar.  And so we run for cover-back to the comfort zone that has kept us from really experiencing God as He now wants to be experienced.

With His word stirring conviction within me, I prayed, "Lord, let it rain, and give me the courage to stand under the heavens when it does.  Cause me to be willing to go where You take me, even if the path is unfamiliar.  Tear down any man-made religious walls that may keep me from seeing You fully.  Forgive me for always running back home."  I knew He was preparing me for a new path.  I needed to be open to receiving it. (One in a Million, by Priscilla Shirer, page 42)

Friends God has a promised land for each one of us.  Are you willing to step out and say yes to Him?  Oh please know that I totally understand the courage this takes. 

Are you willing to take the journey that leads straight to His heart?

I would love to pray with you and for you today.  Please either leave a comment or email me.

May you know today that He has called your name, He desires to hold your hand, and He will lead you to the promised land, but He needs your answer.

You are are loved on purpose!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Reservation Confirmed

A few months ago I heard God calling me to sit. And at first it was Him just politely asking me. Truly out of love for me He knew I was not balanced and needed this time.

You see I am a runner. And running comes easy for me. I run passionately, sometimes so passionately I am up ahead of God. Not a good place to be!

Well in my ‘not’ pretty fashion I fought Him on it. I whined and complained. “Why do I have to sit, while everyone else around me gets to run?” I argued and stubbornly kept running.

I defended my running. I was still running for God. All the things I was ‘doing’ and running about were for Him. Justified running.

And yet my running was not what He wanted.

There will be times in our lives when He pulls us aside so we can listen.

He pulled me aside alright…He took me over 2000 miles from my comfortable home and surroundings. He knew what it would take for me to be still enough, quiet enough and maybe even readied enough to hear more about this whole sitting season.

Why was I fighting this whole sitting thing?

One because I am a runner, running is comfortable for me. It involves movement, other people, it’s fast paced and it’s not quiet.

I pictured this sitting as more of a punishment. It was a timeout. It was away from people, away from the action, it was too quiet and it would be lonely.

And boy did I find it WAY ODD that I was at a Speaker’s Conference…and to be even more honest I found it kind of humiliating and mocking.

Why am I here then if all I am going home to do is sit?

But God.

He kept pushing on my heart. He kept interrupting my thoughts. He kept pouring His grace and love on me.

And You know what I finally heard on Saturday…Saturday July 31st 2010?

Nichole I am here with You. I will be with You during this sitting season. I have reserved this time for You. It’s going to be Me and you together. I have some things I want to tell you, to teach you, and you have some healing to do. I will be with You every minute. This is all good, I promise.

Oh friends I know that maybe some of you reading this or even those who have heard this in person were totally able to see this coming. And I thank you for your patience and grace…it takes me longer to get most places…something called pride gets in the way!

Can you just picture the scene, tears running down my face, cute little red shoes, standing the hall of a very beautiful hotel in North Carolina, with a dedicated woman of prayer, Luann Prater with her arms around me, truly interceding, and me knowing for the first time…

He has asked me to come sit with Him.

I get to sit with Him!

This is not a punishment. This is a God reservation.

One that He planned. One that He set-up and reserved for us.

And it was in that hotel hall that my heart truly shouted,

Reservation confirmed.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Who would have thought?

So seven days ago I heard these words....

"Your reaction determines your reach"

These words came from a very motivating Lysa TerKeurst...but more than motivation...came the nudge to actually live them out.

And friends today I find myself...seven days later needing to do just that.

Live them out.

My Jesus knows that it will take all whole lotta Him to keep this girly from throwing down a fit, pouting, and trying to do it her way.

My Jesus also knows whose watching, waiting and wanting to know if He really works.

So I am begging Him today to take over my way...and do it His way!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Last Thursday

So its been a week since the whole She Speaks experience started.  I have unpacked the suitcases...but my heart is still so full I am not sure I will ever be able to put into words what He has done in me, and for me...I just hope and pray it comes out through me!

Last Thursday morning my boys and the Engineer got up super duper early and took my little self to the airport...and just maybe they had to practice grace when I forgot something at home and the Engineer had to turn the car back to home to go get it.

So up in the air I go...and it was in the middle of the super busy Seattle airport that God started my heart journey with Him for this specific trip.  He and I found ourselves together in Luke 13.  Now that chapter has some great stuff...but one verse that truly loved on my heart in such a girlie way and helped set the stage for a most amazing weekend...

Then He put His hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God. Luke 13:13 (emphasis mine)

You see my Jesus had to take my red shoe wearing self over 2000 miles to truly get ahold of my heart.  To pause me to listen, and to remind, repair and renew some stuff!

He has most definitely put His hands on me!

Thursday night in an answer to prayer and a wish, hope and dream that I held tightly to in my heart...I got the honor and privilege of hugging Miss Cindy in person.  She is one of the most beautiful and Jesus shining girls I know.  In the moment of hugging her neck standing outside the Charlotte airport, I felt our Jesus laying His hands on us and in that moment love was felt, hope was experienced and praises lifted. 

I would have traveled over 2000 miles just for that moment with Cindy...but God have even MORE for me.

I will be back to show how over the course of a weekend His hands were on me!

May you know today in this very moment He thinks of you and love you immensely.

Have a great day, on purpose!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Yeah that's what will happen when you take your Northwest residing self all the way across the country to a state in which things are sticky and wet, sweet tea is served at EVERY meal, and sweet women are speaking in a way in which life seems much sweeter and calm!  There was so much packed into this past weekend at She Speaks.  I met so most amazing women face to face...and that in itself was a huge gift from my Jesus above.  There is so much to process and unpack...great conversations late at night with a roommate, meeting some women who have truly not followed all the rules...just a Jesus, sessions packed full of great wisdom and insight on how to balance this whole ministry thing, and being that I am truly a little tired, or rather Exhausted...it will take me a few days to let it all make sense.

And just maybe one of the many pairs of shoes I hauled clear across the country has left its mark on sore blistered left foot! Say nothing Engineer...say nothing!

So today I am saying thank you to the women (and sweet and precious Miss Zoie, Miss Alexa, Miss Savannah, and Miss Madison too)who hugged my neck in person...you are all beautiful and I feel honored and blessed to have lived a weekend with you!

Thank you to all who made this possible, airline tickets, prayers, financial assistance, encouragement, yard sales, words of wisdom, clothing and jewelry, and time!  You have invested in the work He is doing, and I am forever grateful and thankful!

I will be back...once I have processed and unpacked...and once my eyes are open for longer periods of time...and once the blister is less painful.

For now...I am off to live life with an amazing Engineer and two little boys, whom I love and adore!

On Purpose,