A few months ago I heard God calling me to sit. And at first it was Him just politely asking me. Truly out of love for me He knew I was not balanced and needed this time.
You see I am a runner. And running comes easy for me. I run passionately, sometimes so passionately I am up ahead of God. Not a good place to be!
Well in my ‘not’ pretty fashion I fought Him on it. I whined and complained. “Why do I have to sit, while everyone else around me gets to run?” I argued and stubbornly kept running.
I defended my running. I was still running for God. All the things I was ‘doing’ and running about were for Him. Justified running.
And yet my running was not what He wanted.
There will be times in our lives when He pulls us aside so we can listen.
He pulled me aside alright…He took me over 2000 miles from my comfortable home and surroundings. He knew what it would take for me to be still enough, quiet enough and maybe even readied enough to hear more about this whole sitting season.
Why was I fighting this whole sitting thing?
One because I am a runner, running is comfortable for me. It involves movement, other people, it’s fast paced and it’s not quiet.
I pictured this sitting as more of a punishment. It was a timeout. It was away from people, away from the action, it was too quiet and it would be lonely.
And boy did I find it WAY ODD that I was at a Speaker’s Conference…and to be even more honest I found it kind of humiliating and mocking.
Why am I here then if all I am going home to do is sit?
But God.
He kept pushing on my heart. He kept interrupting my thoughts. He kept pouring His grace and love on me.
And You know what I finally heard on Saturday…Saturday July 31st 2010?
Nichole I am here with You. I will be with You during this sitting season. I have reserved this time for You. It’s going to be Me and you together. I have some things I want to tell you, to teach you, and you have some healing to do. I will be with You every minute. This is all good, I promise.
Oh friends I know that maybe some of you reading this or even those who have heard this in person were totally able to see this coming. And I thank you for your patience and grace…it takes me longer to get most places…something called pride gets in the way!
Can you just picture the scene, tears running down my face, cute little red shoes, standing the hall of a very beautiful hotel in North Carolina, with a dedicated woman of prayer, Luann Prater with her arms around me, truly interceding, and me knowing for the first time…
He has asked me to come sit with Him.
I get to sit with Him!
This is not a punishment. This is a God reservation.
One that He planned. One that He set-up and reserved for us.
And it was in that hotel hall that my heart truly shouted,
Reservation confirmed.
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Drifting or Dwelling
14 hours ago
12 comments:
Sweet Nichole, do you realize the favor God is showing to you, my dear friend? To be called out by Him, to have a special-one-on-one reservation with Him. Gives, me holy goose bumps, just thinking about what He has in store for you. Quiet time with the God of the Universe. The LORD of Heaven’s Armies! Creator of our beautiful Earth! Could your time be spent doing anything better? NO! This is a reservation worth leaping out of bed for as the dawn breaks! The fact that you are listening to His voice, you are on purpose choosing to obey His lead, well, you, little one are delighting Him at the moment! What an example you are to the rest of us, as we watch you clinging to Him, rather than doing life your own way.
Love you! Praying along side you! Lori
You, my sweet little baby girl, are a blessing to everyone you touch. You made a powerful impact on our group and on this momma. God is preparing you and I am your cheerleader. When you get up the next time to run, there will be no stopping you because the Mighty Host of Heaven will be rushing with you.
In His grip,
Luann
aka Momma Lu
Nichole, I can actually say that I am happy for you to be able to SIT!!! Hard position for many of us to be in but God has a super duper purpose for you and He is allowing you to take the time with Him so you are fully prepared for His BEST!!!
The thought of allowing someone to hold you when you are totally broked is both heartening and freightening to me. I long for that nurture so desperately, yet so afraid of that moment. Cannot seem to let go!!
Praising God and rejoicing with you my friend!!!!
Nichole, God is soooo sweet. I love how He has gently been leading you beside the still waters.
Rest, renew, and drink deeply of His presence.
I'm looking forward to reading what He shows you.
Hugs and blessings,
Lisa
I agree with Lisa. I'm looking forward to what you will have for us when your time with God is over.
I may be 70 but I'm not too old to learn more. In fact I've learned a lot within the past two years of blogging from every one. God is so good and never gives up on us.
Love and prayers, AE
Nichole, I miss you so much! Your transparency is truly refreshing.I appreciate you sharing your struggle with pride. I struggle there as well. I so wanted to wrap my arms around you at the conference and share with you that God has just taken me through a similar season myself that began...guess when...at She Speaks 2009!!! What God revealed to me after the conference was that He never wanted the desire I had to be used BY him to replace the desire I had FOR him. He showed me that when it does it is idolatry. I hope we can chat soon, sweet sister. I know how difficult this season is. But I know that through this He will purify and refine you in a way you never imagined possible. I love you!
Sweet.... Praise God!
This is wonderful!
Reminds me of just a few days ago when I was trying to get my son to calm down and sit on the couch. Honestly, I said those very words to him: This is not a punishment. You are NOT being punished. I just want you to sit here and be still for a minute. But he fought me on it. Said it felt like a punishment!
Oh, how we can relate. Amen?
But just the thought of it should make our hearts leap with joy. The Lord of the universe saying, Come. Sit with Me. Just you and Me. It will be wonderful!
Ah, yes. So glad you confirmed your reservation!
amen and amen. nichole this gift of stillness that He gives us all is truly a gift! you have a beautiful heart and i love you!
I love this! A God reservation! It's amazing what we can hear from Him when we sit and not run ahead! Guilty here!!
Thank you for your prayers for Kristi and her family! Please keep them coming!!
Love ya!
Susa
Pretty interesting blog you've got here. Thanks the author for it. I like such themes and everything connected to them. I definitely want to read more soon.
Julia Kuree
When I read this post, my mind immediately went to a passage in Hosea.
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wildnerness, and will speak comfort to her.
I will give her her vineyards from there, and the Valley of Achor as a door of hope;
She shall sing there,
As in the days of her youth,
As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.
'And it shall be, in that day,' says the Lord, 'That you will call Me "My Husband," and no longer call Me, "My Master."'"
Hosea 2:14-15
And not that He is calling you to a desert right now. It just brought to mind those places that can look and seem like punishment, but that are actually sweet invitations to deeper intimacy.
I am excited for you, Nichole. The Lover of your soul is saying "Come away with Me." He is longing to love on you, to speak to you, to heal you, to BE with you.
And I am proud of you. You are responding. You are sitting.
Love you, friend.
K :)
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