So not that you are asking...but do you want a peek into a day in which again I have SO missed becoming "Mom of the Year"?
...maybe its NOT a coincidence that I speaking at a MOPs group next month, and sharing my session titled, "Even Mommies Make Mistakes"...and the God up above does have a great sense of humor and desires more than anything to keep me teachable, humble and knowing I am not a momma without Him!
You see I think I have been SO concerned about my plate, whats on my plate, stuffing my face from my plate, balancing my plate, keeping my face clean, oh lets just say alot of my life these days has to do with the plate and whats on it...yikes...and maybe, just maybe a so called momma with a full plate forgot to feed her most adorable kindergartner a lunch....
So said momma opens the refrigerator today at 11:43 to figure out what said momma and younger brother are going to have...and sure enough right there top shelf magnified times 100 is the grey and black lunch pail that should be sitting ever so nicely in front of Mr. Kindergartner at his school...it should already be opened and Mr. Kindergartner should have his straw in his juice box...and he should be crunchin' his carrots...because Mr. Kindergartners lunch started at 11:30...13 minutes ago...
So like any good momma that forgot their child's lunch...I pick up the phone and speed dial the school (lets just say I have had to call for 'other' mommy mistakes...but not the forgotten lunch...this is the first time)...
"Hello Denise (Denise is the very helpful and nice school secretary) I just found my little guys lunch in the refrigerator. And I know lunch is started and so I need to check and see if he got a hot lunch."
Denise responds,"ok, who is your 'little guy' (see when a momma is in panic mode she forgets that the Elementary School that her son attends has 388 other children attending and she might need to offer some helpful information to track down said child without a lunch, cause we all know, no other mother would forget to feed their child!)
"Oh, I am 'Mr. Kindergartners' mom and he is in Mrs. A's class"
Denise puts me on hold. Then gets back on the phone.
"Your son has a hot lunch."
"Thank you Denise."
So I hang up the phone. I inhale. I exhale.
Just another day in which a momma needs to remember its a mistake...and that truly there are some MOST amazing people, like Mrs. A a kindergarten teacher with a huge heart who helps take care of adorable Mr. Kindergartner.
Well today I sit here with my plate before me...and its full...actually its spilling over, and my mouth is full, so full I am having a hard time chewing it fast enough before the next bite comes in. There is some yummy stuff on my plate, and there is some stuff that is healthy and filling. But is it too full? Oh and I don't think I actually remember even making all the selections that are on this plate...like maybe somebody else took my plate through the buffet line and dished me up!
So today I have glanced over and seen whats on some Girlfriends plates. Oh does it ever look super yummy!
And yet there is a call from the kitchen that says,
"eat off your own plate, its whats been dished up for you!"
And you know what this girl is silly enough to holler back?
"if I eat whats on my plate, do I get dessert?"
Just a girl on a Monday who is trying to stay focused on her plate, and not the girls next to me!
Thank you friends and family for your love, encouragement, prayers and phone calls! You are just amazing..and I am thanking Jesus for you!
Truly at the heart I am just a girlie who wants to be in a love relationship with her Jesus...and sometimes life gets me all out of order...it happens right?
But I know too that God offers a peace, Shalom, that no matter the circumstances, Him and His peace keep us safe and secure!
So last night before I headed off to my bed...oh and what sweet rest it was! So sweet that I didn't hear my little guy calling for me...but his amazing daddy did and he got up with him...thank you Engineer, you are husband and daddy of the year 10+ years in a row!
Okay back to the gettin' in bed...I was re-reading Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst, which if you haven't read...seriously...its better than chocolate my friends...or maybe that just my opinion since I have been a little MORE than chocolate deprived these days...well I am re-reading the book because I get the AWESOME privilege of leading it as Women's Bible study this Spring, starting on March 4th a Thursday morning session and Thursday evening session...I am so excited to share this book and discussion with a group of Girlfriends!! Anyway it seems today is a day for tangents for me...back to me re-reading the book..and Jesus speakin' to my heart...
So right at the top of page 202 this is where my Jesus met me...
"Nancy Gunthrie once wrote an article entitled, "Prayers That Move the Heart of God." In this fascinating piece she says, There's so much to want-healed bodies, restored relationships, changed circumstances. But asking, seeking, and knocking aren't secret formulas for getting what we want from God; they're ways to get more of God. As I listen to God speak to me through his Word, he gives me more of himself in fuller, newer ways. Then, if healing doesn't come, if the relationship remains broken, or if the pressures increase, I have the opportunity to discover for myself he is enough. His presence is enough. His purpose is enough."
Just maybe reading that and hearing my Jesus talkin' to my heart is what gave me a great and peaceful nights sleep!
I am praying this morning for you! Know that Jesus loves you, He cares deeply about whats going on in your life, and He has something to say about it! I am praying for a stillness and peace for you too...one that's better than you have ever imagined.
Call it "welcome back to town, a Monday disguised like a Tuesday, hormone filled, gray hair finding, jeans and sweatshirt, no hair doing kinda day!
Yes friends I might be a big girl on the outside...but it is the heart today that so feels like a little girl who wants to just sit in the corner...or hey maybe even the closet...as there is power in our little walk-in closet...HA!...and just cry!
I know that others have these days...and there are multiple ways to cope...and persevere and get through. My old way would have been me sitting in my jammie pants with an 9x13 pan of brownies and letting the chocolate wisk me away. But being that I am a girlie who has stepped out and is trying this whole obedience and self-control thing...there are no brownies...just tears!
You see for me its realizing I attempted to do it Gods way. I attempted to be obedient. I attempted to love and give grace. I attempted to listen. I attempted to keep my mouth shut.
And for the most part even myself would declare I did pretty darn good. But this girlie starts to break and simple words from a heart that I know was created by a most amazing God, still hurt. Yep they hurt over 24 hours later. Words that I am not sure where meant to cause such yuck inside me...but they do. Maybe its because I am a girl who struggles with wanting to please everyone and the equation of these words equaled something not being liked about me.
Now really if I am grounded and having me a really strong Jesus moment I can go to the place where those words don't bother...but right now...they bother.
Maybe its because I wanted to come through this challenge...this experience being truly triumphant and proving my obedience. Maybe I wanted a Gold Medal in accomplishment of facing the fire head on and coming out un-burned. Isn't that how the three guys in the fiery furnace did it? So how come I feel totally burned, and completely like I bombed this challenge! Just maybe I wanted this challenge off my to-do list?!
Knowing I will head back to the fire again...as this experience and challenge will come up again!
With tears streaming, rather running, and collecting in big huge pools around my pillows...I have no strength to pray or even know what to say...I read these words:
"Work of My Hands, I know that sometimes My sculpting hurts. Sometimes you feel as though you are looking less like Me rather than more like Me. Don't worry. It's just a stage in the sculpting process. There are intervals in the work of precisely shaping you during which you look like a shapeless, formless lump of clay. Your old shape has been destroyed, but your new shape has not yet emerged. Don't give up. I am the Master Artist. Those are My hands you feel squeezing you and pushing you. I know exactly what I am doing. Blessed one, part of the shaping is done by fire. But it is not a destroying fire; it is a cleansing fire. When you walk through it, it will not burn you. It will refine you. I am in the fire. It is going to burn away the earth stuff still clinging to you. It is going to set the work I have finished so the shape is stable" (Set Apart by Jennifer Kennedy Dean, pg 156-157)
There are still tears, but there is relief coming, I know I can sense it. For I choose to trust that even in this, His purpose, is perfect!
Now if you have come to read a truly inspiring uplifting and encouraging post...I am not sure what to tell you...you might not find it here!
I have just come to 'journal' if you will some thoughts and some pieces of my heart!
I had one of 'those' Sundays yesterday. Now if you are male and reading this...this might go right past you so fast you can't even see it...but if your female...oh boy am I hoping there is one other female out there on planet earth that has had one of 'those' Sundays. (Oh and just so you know...I have had many of them...thats why they are officially called 'those' Sundays because its now a category...a group of them if you will!) Anyway.
I wake up in a GREAT mood...ready to start the Sunday...I go in and greet the boys and tell them good morning and they are both so excited that its "Super Bowl SNACK Sunday"...the day where there is a table full of snacks and they get to pick whatever they want! The morning is going just dandy...okay...lets back up...once I walk into the kitchen I am hit with the thought and feeling all of a sudden of being the only female in this house...now its something I live with everyday so really why is it bothering me so much? From that moment on its like my brain...aka all my thoughts are out of whack...from too many cracker boxes being open in the pantry, to being called out to look at some 'spots' on someones head, to sitting at the table surrounded by boys all excited about the "snacks"...while inside this girlie is feeling so lonely...oh and getting a little overwhelmed at the thought have having to make all the snacks.
After breakfast I head off to get dressed and ready for church. As I am standing in my closet having one of the infamous "those" Sundays attacks with what to wear...the tears...and the emotions are at an all time high...oh and even the most amazing Engineer enters the closest at one point to 'help' with the outfit...friends it didn't go so well for him...the closest is small and the hormones were too large!
I eventually find something to wear...which unforunately does not make me 'feel' any better...but at least I am legal and can leave the house and enter to the public format of church!
Praying and hoping that 'church' will solve my mental frame of mind.
Lets just say...I was called in to the boys Sunday School class...one brother decided that his brother needed to 'feel' how upset he was by using his teeth.
And again the male readers might not relate with this one...but girls you have all been in a women's restroom...and heard conversations...well one particular conversation left me feeling so overwhelmed...I couldn't and didn't know how to solve it! Why I took it so personally...is just as goofy as why I was so consumed with too many cracker boxes being open in the pantry!?!
I walked in to the worship center and the Engineer knew I was still not in the right frame of mind. Yeah I have always been so discreet with my emotions...HA!
You know what God did though for this girlie who just couldn't pull out of the funk?
He delivered an amazing message...through his servant, who just happens to be our new pastor!
God whispered to my heart...
You are carrying too much! Come lay it down.
And so I did. I walked up to an altar and laid it down.
To think that I can be all things to all people is living in the yuck of pride.
Thats Gods job!
So back home in that closet of mine...I changed out of my church clothes. Put on some comfy clothes and decided to make the choice to just do my job...
be in relationship with Him.
And let Him do His job!
And friends that choice in the closet yesterday afternoon...has helped me to breathe a little deeper today.
Well in recent weeks I have been bringing back the good ole' Friday Challenge...but however this morning I was greeted by a 'blue screen' on our home computer...and after delivering it to a computer guru this morning...it appears its needing some new guts...so because of being in an overwhlemed frame of mind...I am deciding to not add to this challenging day...
So the Friday Challenge for all of us...
Do Not Fret!
Deciding to be thankful for:
The computer guru...and what he was able to retrieve from the hard drive.
A laptop that has some 'backup' stuff on it.
(Note to self...this is a good time to 'clean-up' all my stuff and organize it and back it up!) Oh just wait until the Engineer reads that...he will be one happy camper...he's been begging me to do that for a long time!
A Engineer who has 'connections' with a computer guru!
A God who is not stopped by a 'blue screen'.
Friends...whatever is happening in your life today...please know that God sees all and knows all, and that He will work it all out for the good!
Just maybe He wanted me to go take a break....curl up on the couch with my Francine Rivers book, Leota's Garden...and relax...and let Him clear up the 'blue screen' problems!
Hello friends! Thank you so much for sharing your hearts and your prayer requests. You have blessed me with such an awesome privelege of praying with you and for you.
"This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him." 1 John 5:14-15
When we pray we join in the works that God has going. I don't know about you, but that excites this girl! To join in the work that God has going on in this world. Call me a 'groupie' but I love me a seat in the front row to see the mighty works of our God! I desire in my heart to be His follower with everything I have.
I want to encourage you today that wherever you find yourself...an overwhelmed stay-at-home mom, a single parent, with an illness that has changed your daily life, a financial mess, lonely heart, a confused teen, or lost, that the one thing that works is prayer!
It's not about doing the right thing, or even saying the right words. Friends our Creator, just wants to hear you and speak with you.
"Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:12
Do you have questions? Concerns? Heartache? Stress? Doubts? Fears?
"Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3
You are not going to catch our God off guard. There won't be something too big or overwhelming for Him. You won't present Him with anything He doesn't already have an answer for! He is prepared. Not only is His prepared, He is waiting. He is waiting to hear you, and love on you!
Did you catch the words in Jeremiah 33:3?
"I will tell you great and mighty things" Friends...the I in that verse is God Himself...He has GREAT and MIGHTY things to tell you!
Can you only imagine?
Do you want to hear from Him? Do you want to know what He has for you?