I had just tucked one of my little ones into bed, the Engineer was finishing with the other. I found my book, my quilt and my oversized chair. I turned on the lamp that sat next to the chair and I started reading. Reading a book in which I knew I would find my Jesus. And boy did I. I was enjoying this book so much that I felt the ‘need’ to highlight some lines, some quotes, and some words that would need to be re-read. And yet I also felt the importance not to highlight. Why?
Not only was He to be found in the pages of this book, but more importantly He was to do some most divine work. As I read page after page I could hear Him whispering about how my friend needed this book. And I could hear myself too, yep she sure does it will be a great book for her to read, and I will pass it on when I am done! You see I might look old enough and mature enough on the outside but I struggle with sharing. I don’t like to share my oldest boy with his school for 6 ½ hrs a day…and in this moment I really didn’t want to share my really great book!
So I kept on reading and Jesus kept being right there. As I was reading I was learning so much about how I had to leave Egypt, not just one foot, but both. Both had to go. Both feet had to journey. And my eyes had to be fixed on Him, and my hand had to hold tight to His. For leaving Egypt meant I was headed into the wilderness. To sit with Him. I had to leave my way of doing things. I was very comfortable doing it all my way. Now hear my heart on this. Yes I am a Jesus loving girl and I do follow hard after Him, but I had ever let Him have me completely. Why? Because I was busy running. Running for Him…I know you will start to see all the craziness of me mixed in here. It was for Him…but not fully fueled by Him. Silly how a pride control issue girl can get in the way but it happens. Leaving Egypt meant I would be leaving my way of doing things, marriage, motherhood, being a neighbor and friend, and ministry.
Marriage would be different.
Motherhood would be different.
Church would be different.
Nichole would be different.
I stopped reading on page 88.
I go to bed that night with my book resting comfy on the nightstand. I turn off my light, talk with my Jesus and rest. When I wake in the morning I head out to the back porch to let my Ellie girl outside (the dog) and as I step onto the back porch it smelled different. Different good.
I had walked into something different. I had taken steps. And there was something inside me that felt so good about it. Felt right.
As I stood in my kitchen making breakfast for the boys again I heard my Jesus. And again He was telling me to share. Share the book.
You see I truly believe that I had to leave Egypt.
I truly believe my friend had to leave Egypt. Not in a judgmental way as I thought anything bad of her. No not at all. Rather because I truly love her so much and want to cheer her on to ALL that God has designed for her.
I took the book to her. Stood on her front porch, hugged her neck, told her I love her and handed over the book.
The book that I hadn’t even finished yet. A journey I had just started myself. And yet I knew it was all worth it. So worth it that I want others to come.
Today I have the honor and privilege of introducing you to Sabin. My friend. A friend who truly lives life. She has read the book and below is sharing a piece of her heart with you all. Please all Jesus to meet you in these words below. Allow it to encourage you to leave Egypt and come on this journey.
"Have you ever dreamed BIG? I mean really BIG? Let your mind wander, fantasize about the possibilities, become giddy with anticipation, kind of BIG? My husband and I have. We have dreamt just in that way about having more children. We have one incredible little boy and would desperately like to add to our family. Therein lies the problem. With desperation comes skewed thinking. Somehow worship of the Lord falls way down the ladder of priorities only to be replaced by worship of conceiving. In the amazing book, One in a Million, we learn the Lord will come and claim back His rightful place.
Our dream of having more children seemed so close. Then the heavenly whispering of a Father to His child began, "Do you trust Me?" and "Are you willing to submit to My will even if your dream isn't part of it?" Over and over again I heard these questions asked of me, and over and over again I responded with anger and fear, "If You love me so much WHERE IS MY BABY???" Hot tears streamed down my face most days. Indignation that He wasn't "fair" clouded my view. I was so close to the situation I couldn't see straight, I couldn't hear, or perhaps I wasn't willing to listen.
My dear beloved friend Nichole knew of this journey and this pain and brought me One in a Million at the exact moment God told her to. The moment He knew I was ready to hear, listen and obey. One in a Million is a story of courage. It is YOURS and my story of being claimed by Christ for freedom and abundant living. To journey to the Promised Land that HE has chosen for us. It is a story about the journey He walks with us to get to the Promised Land of our lives.
I choose to follow God irregardless of whether my dream of having more children comes true. I choose Him. I choose His perfect Will, perfect knowledge, perfect guidance, perfect love, and perfect desire to create me into His perfect image. It will be a journey, with great highs and great lows, but He will be there with us the entire way.
Dare to dream and live BIG! He is waiting for you."
Meet me back here next time when we talk a little bit more about the wilderness!
Down for the Count
3 days ago