Pausing on Purpose

Good morning friends! Thank you so much for stopping by the blog today. I am so glad you are here. I want to thank you so much for participating in the Relationship series. I have been so blessed to receive many emails and comments that great big things are happening in your relationships. I too have been stretched, pulled and tweeked! Easy? No Painful at times? Oh Yes! But all worth it and all on purpose!


Today I am pausing from the series to share some requests. As I pause this morning and look around my world I see so many people in need, in need of a great big God! A God who is more than able to be big!


Will you join me in pausing and asking God to be big? I believe when Gods people pray we tap into and unlock what He has going on up there in heaven.


"Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." Matthew 6:10


Pause on purpose and pray for:


Lee at PrayerGifts is traveling and has also found out that they found cancer in her brother in-laws brain.



Joy at Pondering in His Presence is a beautiful woman of God who has a full load of circumstances and needs that need to be showered in Gods love.



Kala at Johnston Happenings and her family have recently brought home a little boy, Henok, from Africa and in the process of making a huge adjustment as this makes 4 kids. There are a lot of doctors appointments in Henoks future.



Two mommas who have sent part of their hearts overseas Elaine at Peace for the journey and Lysa.



Nicki at Three Girly Girls who is packing up and moving with three girls, need I say more!



Cindy at Army Brats and Me is praising God for great results. But she needs our continued prayers to stay cancer free. And she has a house to sell, and wants to get back closer to her family!

Family and Friends who are struggling with infertility.

Family and Friends who are dealing with stressful work issues, layoffs, loss of jobs.

My momma who needs to be healed. Several months ago she was in a car accident and it has left her arm, neck, back in pain. Pray for healing, and recovery, for pain free days!

Alice at From the Heart pray for God to continue to bless her, her marriage and her and her husbands health!

Women's writing and Speaking ministries. Women who are committed to sharing their Jesus with those around them!

West Valley Church, the church I attend is going through some great big transitions, seeking a new pastor and desperately seeking what God has for the future of the church!

Renee at The Journey of the Heart and her family are on vacation and in the process of an adoption.

Mylah at Joy to Know is a beautiful young woman of God and truly is a joy to know! She is getting married and needs to be covered in prayer! God has great things for her future!

My beautiful and amazing friend Tanisia and her family need prayers for what God holds in His hands as their future!

An amazing woman in our church needs the healing touch of the Great Physician!

My new friend Lori has been such a huge encouragment to me. She has shared so many amazing God moments with me. I have yet to meet this beautiful woman of God in person, but I know that God has it planned! Please pray for her to be blessed, pray for her dad who is in the hospital, pray for her marriage and all her relationships!

Nicole at I Love my Kind and My Kind Love me would love our prayers for her relationships! God is working all over, in and through Nicole. She truly is living in His love for her and sharing it with those around her!

Praise God for My ADHDandMe and the work God is doing through her blog, through some humor and laughter. Its a great time when you visit that blog. I believe I have been lifted and healed many times through laughter when I visit!

Please pray for a new friend, Angela. She is desiring to be a woman of God in every area of her life, as a wife and mom! She would love for us to pray for her husband and their business, as they seek to make it all God wants it to be.

All mommas out there need to be lifted in prayer, its a hard but oh so rewarding job! My heart is truly a mommas heart its a season I am in that I hope I never leave. I have been blessed by many mommas out here in blog land but two that truly speak to my heart are Kimberly at A Planting of the Lord and Karen at Surviving Motherhood.

For all those traveling, on vacations and having summer fun!

Jami at Live Laugh Love not only is she currently on a Mission in Tennessee with her husband, she lives her life on a daily mission. She too is in the stages of adoption. Pray for this amazing family!

This years She Speaks Conference God has great things planned.

Marriages! Pray for yours, pray for mine, pray for your friends, pray for your neighbors. Lets keep all marriages covered in God!

Thank you so much for being people who care and love out of the overflow you are receiving.

Please leave your prayer requests and know that they too will be lifted up to a great big God!

Love to you my friends and prayers up to Him!

On Purpose!

Monday's Marvelous Marriage Advice

Hello everyone! I hope you all had fantastic weekends. Today I will be sharing some personal marriage advice. Some advice that The Engineer and I have received over the years of our marriage and things that we have lived and learned to be true!

One of our very true and foundational building blocks of our marriage is to

1)Have low expectations

Now when I share that with people many are shocked. But friends let that soak in for a second. The truth of what keeps our marriage grounded is that we are to expect everything from God because only He can meet and fulfill all that we need. When we keep the expectations low for our spouse, we will be amazed every time because they will be able to ‘over achieve’! Does this make sense? If you expect them to be perfect all the time you will be disappointed every time. God has allowed for a freedom in our marriage, one that is surrounded with grace. Now I am talking in the realm of taking out trash, keeping a tidy house, and allowing for bad hair days! I however am NOT talking about abuse, infidelity and other issues that would be dishonoring the marriage covenant.
　
Now this next little piece of advice is a huge challenge for me. For it is one where my heart, mind and actions have to stay in alignment. And for a girl who functions in ‘creative organized chaos’ keeping things in alignment is a bit of a struggle. But it is my hearts desire to approach my marriage with a

2) Servant attitude

One great way to energize your marriage is to compete! Now there is a twist to this little competition. I would challenge you to compete with your spouse without letting them know they are in a competition, trust me your reward and payoff will be one that will last for eternity! Find ways to serve your spouse. Make them practical. Remember the attitude is the heart of the matter here.
　
　
Now for me this next little tidbit is so easy as I am usually given a whopper of an opportunity daily to live it out.

3) Don’t take ourselves too seriously

So how exactly does that fit in as a piece of marriage advice? I need to remember that I am not alone in this marriage. It’s not all about me and my needs. I am usually better off if I run all my thoughts, ideas, questions, concerns, complaints, issues, stresses, and most everything else through a trial run with God first. This means taking a few minutes, or more time if needed to allow God to help me filter and understand what I am thinking and feeling. Now The Engineer will be the first to testify that I SO don’t have this down, I speak often out of emotion an emotion which is tightly attached and becomes all of a sudden very serious. So as I am learning, I really do benefit by using this time with God and allowing Him to attach my emotions with the right issues!

Now this next one is quite often shared and spoken of, but the true power in it is released when actually practiced!

4) Pray for your spouse

Great things happen when Gods people pray! I know in my own life that God has changed my perspective and how I view a situation when I pray for The Engineer. Over the years our connection has been made stronger through prayer.　
　
I want to encourage you to focus on you and your spouse

5) Don’t compare

You and your spouse are in a unique relationship. Why? Because you are two unique individuals created by God just how He wants you. So with two unique individuals comes a unique marriage. As I type this I just have to add, to my sisters out there who are also married to an Engineer we have an extra little star added to the uniqueness factor…right? HA! I can share what works for our marriage, but remember that what works for us might not work for you. Be willing to find what works best for your relationship. And be okay with what works for you. Your love/marriage is unique to the two people that are involved; don’t get caught up in comparing.

Okay so there is a little bit of Marriage Advice.

Now lets make it ‘Marvelous’!!

**What advice would you give to a couple about to get married?

**What advice would you give a couple to energize their marriage?

**What is a favorite piece of advice that you have received that revitalized your marriage?

**How could we pray for you and your marriage? Feel free to leave requests anonymously!
　
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 The Message
　
　
Do what you do on purpose, love on purpose!

Friday Challenge-Marriage Quiz

Hello and welcome to the blog! It is most definitely Friday and that means it is definitely time for a little challenge. As I was writing this Marriage Quiz I was led to think of many of the marriages that are represented around me. As I wrote God and I were going over these questions and I was moved to search my heart, my attitude, and my actions in my marriage. My prayer is that you too will be open to do some searching too.

The Friday Challenge is to read through this Marriage Quiz and be as open and honest with yourself as you can. There is no right or wrong answers and there will not be a score at the end to tell you what category your marriage fits into. The answers are for you. As I am praying over them in my own life. I am also praying them over for you and knowing God will meet you right where you are!

Friday Challenge:

Take the Marriage Quiz

1)What first attracted me to my spouse? Do I still recognize that trait(s) and am I still attracted to that trait(s)? If not, why?

2)Am I committed to my spouse? In all circumstances and situations? Job loss? Illness? Financial problems? Addiction? Loss of a child?

3)Do I believe my marriage is a covenant?

4)What do I do to grow, enrich, and make my marriage better? List what you are currently doing to grow, enrich, and make your marriage better.

5)Do I spend more time thinking about what I need in my marriage or how to give to my marriage?

6)Do I compare my marriage to other marriages? Do I think this is healthy?

7)Do I enjoy my marriage? None of the time? Some of the time? Most of the time? All the time?

8)If there was a ‘Marriage Improvement Store’ in my town what section would I be visiting first? Communication? Finances? Sex?

9)What areas of my marriage glorify God?

10)What word(s) would I use to describe my marriage? Hurting? Struggling? A work in progress? Comfortable? Alive? Amazing?

11)For the Men: Do I love my spouse? What do I do to show it?

12)For the Women: Do I respect my spouse? What do I do to show it?

13)Do I support my spouse? If so, how do I support my spouse?

14)Do I put the needs of my spouse before mine? Never? Sometimes? Most of the time? All the time?

15)Do I believe God has great things for my marriage?

Friends I can oh so answer that last one for all of us! Yes God does have GREAT things for my marriage and for your marriage. ‘Oh but Nichole you don’t even know the half of what I am going through’…yep you’re right I don’t but He does…and guess what? His promises don’t change because of your circumstances or your situation. His love stays the same! His grace stays the same! His promises stay the same! His commitment to be God in your life stays the same!

May you be encouraged to know that God loves you and cares about every detail of your life. He is standing right there ready to love all over you!

Please come back and join me on Monday for some Marvelous Marriage advice!

Tradin' in some dirty laundry

Hello and welcome to the blog. If you are visiting today we are in the middle of a series on relationships. Currently we are taking a close look at the marriage relationship.

Today I will be sharing a view into my past, not to air dirty laundry, but rather to share how amazing my Redeemer is.
　
I dated the same guy in high school from my sophomore year on. Our senior year of high school we were voted most likely to get married. And everyone knows that when you are in high school and eighteen years old that what exists at that moment is the ‘real thing’ So in keeping with my flawed personality trait, I didn’t want to let anyone down, and I wanted to prove to everyone I could do it. I had a deep desire to be perfect, to please everyone around me and be in total control of my life. We married in the summer of ’96. We had people questioning whether it was the right thing to do. But hey we were ‘in love!!’ It didn’t take long for me to have my first ‘uh-oh’ moment and know that I had made a mistake, and by that fall I knew I had messed up big time. I did not know how to be married, I was young, and I didn’t know what love was. We didn’t know how to communicate. We both were trying to go to school and live on a very tight budget. You name it we had issues with it, money, sex, communication, family. I asked many times to go to counseling, and the response was that we didn’t have problems or issues we were fine. Which then made me think it was all me, and that I just needed to keep working on me. So I did, and during that process I pulled myself away and detached myself from our marriage and became distant from him. In the winter he took a job that took him out of town a lot and then eventually a job that moved him out of town. I was lonely and had developed a friendship with a guy who listened to me talk, who would study with me, who showed interest in me. I was craving this attention and desiring to feel loved, liked, wanted and needed by someone. I was not seeking God during this time, I was not asking Him for help and I wasn’t listening to Him. In my flesh and free will I chose instant satisfaction and developed a friendship into something further. Instead of choosing to repair a marriage I chose to be done.

"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel. Malachi 2:16

Why does God hate divorce? Because divorce destroys the beauty of Gods design. The covenant relationship He created. A relationship He created to reveal more of Himself to His people.

I found myself in a fractured relationship with God. I came seeking true forgiveness.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
　
For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

God took my mistake, the hurt, the ugliness, the mess and covered it in His amazing grace and love and turned it into a beautiful redemption story. A story that He can now use to bring glory and honor to Himself.

That something beautiful included a whole lot of grace and love that I continue to stand in the middle of and live life freely in. That something beautiful was a second chance at marriage. A marriage that I am committed to because of the filling of a God who believes in second chances…not only in granting them…but equipping us to do them the right way, His way!

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of the that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

You see God didn’t just stop at the redeeming part, no He has gone on to bless me with the most amazing man. He is The Engineer. A man who is most definitely created in the image of God. I am blessed to share this life with him. A man who is wired to be exactly who God needs him to be. He is an intelligent, loving, and caring person. He is a great friend and listener. He has a sense of humor that keeps life anything but boring. He is a hard working, ethical man of integrity. All that he puts his hand to is done well! God has truly blessed me beyond anything I could imagine and ever deserve.

Why share about a mess?

Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record. Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry. I know how bad I've been; my sins are staring me down. You're the One I've violated, and you've seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair. I've been out of step with you for a long time, in the wrong since before I was born. What you're after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life. Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life. Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing. Don't look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health. God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails! Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home. Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God, and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways. Unbutton my lips, dear God; I'll let loose with your praise. Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice. Make Zion the place you delight in, repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls. Then you'll get real worship from us, acts of worship small and large, Including all the bulls they can heave onto your altar! Psalm 51 The Message
　
May we know today it’s not about the dirty laundry. It’s not about the when, how, or why. It’s about bringing that dirty laundry to a great and mighty God who is willing to redeem it and make it beautiful.

It is good

As you read Genesis you read about the amazing details of a Creator and His amazing work. As He is creating, He is also critiquing His work,

"And God saw this it was good."

For everything that He created, everything He designed and everything He put His hand to, was good.

**Take a moment and think on this. Everything He created is good.

It reveals just part of the awesome character of our Creator. For everything that comes from Him is good.

"God saw all that He had made and it was very good." Genesis 1:31 (emphasis mine)

As you continue on in Genesis you will come to this verse:

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18 (emphasis mine)

Now we have just established that everything God created was good and we come to this verse which can shake things up a little.

**How could God have created something that was ‘not good’?

I am so excited about this huge revelation of the character of God in this verse!

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" Genesis 2:18 (emphasis mine)

He is making a divine statement about His character. God had never experienced aloneness before.

The Trinity= God the Father-The Son and the Holy Spirit. All three existing in one beautiful divine and eternal relationship.

The Trinity is a very deep and intimate relationship that is all encompassing and within in it we find everything.

God the Creator of the deep and intimate relationship.

If we truly believe that He is the creator of the relationship, we should look to Him for what the nature and purity of all relationships should look like.

Genesis 2:18 reveals to us a relationship that God created with a very important purpose. A relationship that He started back in the Garden of Eden.

Because I am more than blessed to live with The Engineer I know that when someone ‘creates something’ or builds something or designs something they are very familiar with how that ‘something’ works. So because God is the Creator of this relationship He is very knowledgeable on how it should be lived out.

However because of the Fall and sin entering the world and clouding the picture. This relationship that was created by the perfect hand of God has been darkened, twisted, and corrupted in today’s world.

**Have you figured out what relationship we are going to look at next?

Marriage.

God takes this relationship very serious. He has a specific purpose for it.

There is unity, perfection, peace and joy in His design. All which has been hard to see in today’s culture.
　
The world, sin, hates this relationship. The world is trying to re-create God’s design. Being married is no easy task. It is not something to be entered into lightly, or quickly, or without much thought. It is not something to do to prove a point, or to make a situation right. Marriage is often misrepresented in today’s secular culture.
　
Dear Heavenly Father please help us all to pause right here. We ask that You Lord open our hearts to truly hear Your voice today. Lord bring everyone up close and personal to You and remind them of who You are, they Creator and that You have purpose for them. You love them and all that You have for them is perfect and wonderful. I pray for the marriages today and ask for You to do new things in all of the marriages that will be represented here today. I pray that we truly get that only You Lord can create our marriages to be beautiful and God honoring. Amen

Please join me and allow God to lead us through this beautiful relationship He has designed.

And for my friends who are not currently married I believe you will gain such great revelations about the character of Your Creator from this and I am excited for us to be in awe together!

May we commit to praying for the marriages around us.

Big

Hello Friends! Thank you so much for being who you are! Yep...great people who are living out the overflow of love they live in! Isn't it a great place to be?

Thank you for cards that came in the mail, emails sent, and comments left here on the blog. Your love, words of encouragement and prayers are so greatly appreciated and carried me great distances in certain moments I found myself in this past week. And boy was it a week. I can know look back and see some really great moments of God being really big. We live in a world and time that we need to keep acknowledging how big God is. We need to share those moments! We need to let the people around us who are need of a really big God aware that He is working and active...and wants to be big in our lives.

My God was so big

-He brought peace during doctors appointments this week

-He brought great wisdom from conversation with a mentor of mine

-He showed me again my need for complete dependence on Him for my mothering skills

-He provided our family with time for a mini vacation and showed off just how beautiful His creation is

-He connected people in prayer for a friends husband who found himself in the hospital on the weekend they were going to celebrate their anniversary

-He humbled my heart in new ways for people around me

-He kept me in my minutes and hours of committed prayer for loved ones

Can you see God? Can you see just how big He is?

I am praying right now for you, praying that He position you in such away to gaze upon Him. To look fully towards Him, and spend a moment to see just how big He is!

Please join me this week as we continue in our relationship series...our next stop...any guesses?

A Wii little post

Hello! Happy Monday to you! Thank you for visiting the blog today. I also want to thank you for participating in this relationship series. I want to say I am blessed to see the work that God is doing. Relationships are not easy; they are hard things to live in. When we submit our agenda, our purposes, our lives to God, He is able to do His amazing thing in our relationships. He is able to create them to be what He intended them to be. Thank you for your comments and emails. I am praying for you and know that God is working in your life.


Our weekend was absolutely fantastic. I was blessed with a 'mommy personal day'. I was resting and relaxing out of town while the Engineer and the boys were blessed with some 'boy bonding time' which involved pool time, roasting marshmallows, playing hockey, and having chocolate milkshakes for dinner. Thank you babe for the gift of the personal day and taking such amazing care of our little guys!

Thank You Jesus for a wonderful weekend packed full of many blessings. The blessings of time spent with my parents and yummy food, a good ole fashion morning run in my hometown, hugging my grandma and telling her I love her, my mom painting my toes, a shopping trip with my mom, a nap, and my parents very generous gift of a Wii to our family,which will bring many hours of fun! Thank you mom and dad for your generous and loving hearts! Going to church on Saturday night with my parents and experiencing the Joy of Jesus in some amazing worship time, Saturday night driving home and having some amazing conversation time with my Jesus. Sunday morning watching my two boys participate in Sunday School Graduation. A Sunday afternoon nap...need I say anymore! And Sunday evening watching my oldest participate in a closing ceremonies for his scouting program at church, and then getting to sit next to my youngest little guy as his derby car raced in the finals, we cheered it on down the track! Thank you boys for sharing life with me!

Oh and I just have to report that I did officially win the first bowling game last night on the Wii....a girl has to celebrate her wins!!


There will be a pause taken from me for this week in the relationship series. I would appreciate your prayer for some doctors appointments, meetings, travel...and for me to stay focused on my relationship with my Jesus, my Engineer and my boys!

For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end. Psalm 48:14


May you know today that you are loved by an amazing God who cares about every detail of your life!