My toes have been stepped on.
There is a lump in my throat.
I am a little overwhelmed, anxious and nervous.
What do I do next?
Now if you have been around my blog long enough you know I am a girl who likes my chocolate brownies. I have posted about them a few times, Brownies, Brownies, Brownies. I am just finding a few examples for you...just a few!
So here comes the real hard part of this post....
I have been reading, following and watching Lysa Terkeurst journey with this whole 'no sugar' thing. And to be perfectly honest I thought it was a bit extreme and to be even more honest I thought yikes what is she trying to do to us 'girlfriends'? Does she not know that we NEED chocolate...and that sometimes we DESERVE chocolate!!?!?
I have been very impressed and proud of her journey as she has shared it very openly and genuinely. She has shared her struggles and I am sure they have been more than difficult.
But then she had to go a step further...and its the step further that has sent me into a little bit of a tizzy...yep her post today....
"Two toes on the side of victory"
There are so many things in her post today that are tugging at my heart and pulling me in another direction.
And to quote Miss Lysa...words I know are from her heart and placed there by a God who absolutely loves and adores her:
"What it does mean for me is I must completely starve the internal drive that makes me feel like I need a brownie... or I deserve a cookie. Saying I need a brownie is a sign of an empty heart... a heart whose misplaced desires have crowded out the fullness of Jesus.Saying I deserve a brownie is a sign of an empty mind... a mind whose misplaced desires have crowded out the richness of God's truth.If I choose to have one simply as an occasional treat, that's one thing. But longing for it and then wasting mental energy processing the guilt of eating too many- crosses a line I don't want to cross any longer.I want to be filled up with Jesus. I want to be satisfied by God's truth." (emphasis mine)
And this is where my Jesus got me...yep...these words of I deserve and I need. You see I have read every post that Lysa has posted about this whole 'no sugar' thing and stood back and congratulated her and cheered her on. But today is when my Jesus tugged at my heart.
I have been convicted of using these words....
I need.
I deserve.
And friends the things that I have said I needed and I deserved have just been empty void fillers...chocolate...food...sugar...quick fixes.
I am guilty of spending time planning how, when, and where I can get me some chocolate!
Where does this leave me?
Where am I going?
I am standing before my Jesus and reaching out and taking His hand.
Seeking His will in and His purpose in these next few steps.
Did Lysa have to use those exact words?
Yes she did because my Jesus needed my heart to hear them today!
Jesus please take me, my heart, my mind, and my body and cleanse it from what I have filled it with, clean it out and fill it with more of You! Take away my mis-truths, false beliefs about what I need and deserve...and transform me into what You desire for me to be! I love You Jesus-Amen!
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Betrayer Becomes Bold
4 hours ago
14 comments:
Wow... I am humbled and touched by your post.
It is always so amazing to me to see how Jesus specifically speaks to my girlfriends through certain phrases.
You see, I wrote this post last night. Then in my quiet time this morning, I had an extreme revelation and went back to my blog post.
I added in what spoke to your heart just this morning.
I didn't just feel inspired to add those additional words--- I felt compelled to do it.
What a blessing to get to see why.
Amazed and touched.
Blessings to you sweet friend. I am praying for your journey right now~
Chocolate (mainly 3 Musketeers) were my main thing. When I was still working for two years I had a 3 Musketeer every single day. It only had 8 fat calories. It became an obsession with me. When my hudsband's tryglclirides (sp) ran up to 1500 + several years ago, I started eating what he ate and walked on the treadmill every day. Now he can lose weight the fastest of any body I've ever seen. He got down so low in weight that he began to look sick. It wasn't long until he gained back up and his tri's were even higher. This time he has stayed with his program, I have given up the 3 muskeeters and I have lost 2 pant sizes. I still have some chocolate. He found some Chocolate Yogurt covered raisons that are absolutely delious. I divided the fat calories by 3 and I have 6 of those at every meal. It satisfies my taste for chocolate. I've learned to eat smaller portions. Of course he does the cooking so I eat what ever he eats at dinner. The other two meals I fix myself.
It works for me.
From the heart,
AliceE.
Lord, I lift up those who feel a void and want to fill is with other things than You. I pray that each one will fill their voids with You. Thank You Father for placing me here to send this prayer to those who need it. I thank You Father for filling my voids and that I've allowed you to do so. I pray that I continue to allow You to fill my voids. Use me for Your purpose Father, not mine. In Jesus' name, amen.
Nichole,
(Sigh!) This is right on! It can come out so easily, especially when we are weak. I deserve a coffee, a break, a vacation. I need to see my friends, take a time-out....
Jesus is not often the first one we run to when we feel we need something. Oh, for some things--yes. Can't run to Him fast enough. When we feel we don't need Him.... That's the harsh reality.
"Did we in our own strength confide? Our striving would be losing without the right man at our side, a man of God's own choosing." Lyrics from "A Mighty Fortress is our God," and without Him and His Son, those needs and affirmations that we have will continue to go unmet.
...in something as simple as chocolate! Wise observations, friend!
How cool to read that Lysa felt compelled to add what she did to her post. God is amazingly powerful like that. I love it.
And about sugar, I have issues. I understand the battle of I "need." I really don't need empty calories. I need a sweet taste of Jesus.
Thanks for this post. As always it's life-giving.
Love ya,
Tiffany
Yes, mam. There has been all manner of toe-stepping-on going on over at that there blog. :) It's a bit painful, but oh so needed. And done with such love and humility.
I definitely struggle with those two very dangerous words. Need and deserve. You are NOT alone!
Praying for you as you allow God to sweetly speak to your heart and guide you in His truth. You are such a willing vessel!
Love you,
K :)
Great post, except now I want brownies! The power of suggestion! lol sorry couldn't resist.
blessings,
Tami
PRAYING JEREMIAH HOME QUICKLY
www.tillGodbringsthemhome.blogspot.com
One of the many reasons why I love you my friend.
Praying for you!
Hugs,
Joy
Those posts have been pretty convicting!! But you my friend have a heart that is being changed and forever held into the palm of God's hands in a closer and deeper way.
You are awesome girl!! Love you so!
Ah, yes. I have been convicted of this before, as well. Asking myself, Why am I turning to a brownie (or whatever it is in that moment) for comfort? Jesus is my only Comfort!
The conviction may be difficult, but He will give us the strength to make it through!
ME TOO!!! I had to go back a few times and re-read it and then pass it on to a few of my friends with the same struggle.
I've just never thought about Jesus caring what I eat. I too have cheered her on, but she just put a whole new spin on it with that post.
I "needed" a donut this morning and because of Lysa's post I thought about Jesus and prayed my way past the donut shop. Funny thing is that before I got to the donut shop there's a Weight Watchers and I turned my car around there, went in and asked questions as they had just started a 7am meeting and then continued home without stopping for a donut. Just prayed my way past Lamar's. Felt sooo good!
Thanks for sharing this post, good to know I'm not alone.
This is a great post, Nichole! We live in such a "me" society. It's all about what "I" want, and what "I" need. The more we let God's Truth sink into our innermost being, the more we experience a special walk with Him. We want to live each day in victory, from sunrise to sunset. "Two toes on the side of victory." I want that daily!
To deny my wants, by not eating everything I'd like to be eating, and by turning my focus to God.
As we care for out body by seeking God, we are caring for our spirit and honoring the temple inside us. We are not our own.
When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, He gives us Self-Control. We have His power inside us, through Him there is not anything we can not do. We seek Him, and He shows us the way. Oh, to be filled to the brim with Him. All of Him. All my thoughts. All my actions. All my words Glorifying HIM. Thank you, LORD, for choosing me to be part of that special remnant; Your chosen daughter.
Intentionally walking with Him today, Lori - AZ
Been sugar free for a while now. But yes, I used to love the brownies, even would mix up a batch, but not cook them and dribble the gooey goodness on ice cream for a topping. But God is better than the best brownie goo!
Delighted to meet you dear one, keep writing, the world is reading.
Hugs from Costa Rica,
Sarah Dawn
Hi. I can't help but wonder, what about, "Gee, I sure would *like* a brownie."? (or whatever, as I am not a huge chocolate fan.....perhaps a chemical imbalance)
I enjoy a package in the mail.
I enjoy a brownie *ie.slice of cheesecake, etc.
As long as it isn't "I NEED" or "I DESERVE".....on the other hand, we do "deserve" to do something for ourselves every now and then. MODERATION.
Next to Jesus, we "deserve" nothing. Because of Jesus, I think it's ok. Again, moderation.
I don't know.
Thanks for another thought provoking and great post.
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