Now if you have come to read a truly inspiring uplifting and encouraging post...I am not sure what to tell you...you might not find it here!
I have just come to 'journal' if you will some thoughts and some pieces of my heart!
I had one of 'those' Sundays yesterday. Now if you are male and reading this...this might go right past you so fast you can't even see it...but if your female...oh boy am I hoping there is one other female out there on planet earth that has had one of 'those' Sundays. (Oh and just so you know...I have had many of them...thats why they are officially called 'those' Sundays because its now a category...a group of them if you will!) Anyway.
I wake up in a GREAT mood...ready to start the Sunday...I go in and greet the boys and tell them good morning and they are both so excited that its "Super Bowl SNACK Sunday"...the day where there is a table full of snacks and they get to pick whatever they want! The morning is going just dandy...okay...lets back up...once I walk into the kitchen I am hit with the thought and feeling all of a sudden of being the only female in this house...now its something I live with everyday so really why is it bothering me so much? From that moment on its like my brain...aka all my thoughts are out of whack...from too many cracker boxes being open in the pantry, to being called out to look at some 'spots' on someones head, to sitting at the table surrounded by boys all excited about the "snacks"...while inside this girlie is feeling so lonely...oh and getting a little overwhelmed at the thought have having to make all the snacks.
After breakfast I head off to get dressed and ready for church. As I am standing in my closet having one of the infamous "those" Sundays attacks with what to wear...the tears...and the emotions are at an all time high...oh and even the most amazing Engineer enters the closest at one point to 'help' with the outfit...friends it didn't go so well for him...the closest is small and the hormones were too large!
I eventually find something to wear...which unforunately does not make me 'feel' any better...but at least I am legal and can leave the house and enter to the public format of church!
Praying and hoping that 'church' will solve my mental frame of mind.
Lets just say...I was called in to the boys Sunday School class...one brother decided that his brother needed to 'feel' how upset he was by using his teeth.
And again the male readers might not relate with this one...but girls you have all been in a women's restroom...and heard conversations...well one particular conversation left me feeling so overwhelmed...I couldn't and didn't know how to solve it! Why I took it so personally...is just as goofy as why I was so consumed with too many cracker boxes being open in the pantry!?!
I walked in to the worship center and the Engineer knew I was still not in the right frame of mind. Yeah I have always been so discreet with my emotions...HA!
You know what God did though for this girlie who just couldn't pull out of the funk?
He delivered an amazing message...through his servant, who just happens to be our new pastor!
God whispered to my heart...
You are carrying too much! Come lay it down.And so I did. I walked up to an altar and laid it down.
To think that I can be all things to all people is living in the yuck of pride.
I can't.
Thats Gods job!
So back home in that closet of mine...I changed out of my church clothes. Put on some comfy clothes and
decided to make the choice to just do my job...
be in relationship with Him.
And let Him do His job!
And friends that choice in the closet yesterday afternoon...has helped me to breathe a little deeper today.