Still Celebrating...

Welcome to the blog!  Yes I am still celebrating...I am a girl who likes to have fun!

Last week I remember praying out to Jesus and asking Him...

Please Lord help me to truly soak in all of this...help me to truly get it down to the heart of the matter that You are good all the time!

I struggle celebrating Him being good all the time when things feel not so easy, fun and good!

Do you?

For today the celebrating has a whole new meaning to me!

Friends as I sit on the eve of a speaking engagement for tomorrow night...



I am weak.

I am tired.

I am empty.

I am not perfectly prepared. (Its a pride thing my friends!)

I am not needed by God!

Its that last one that really tends to step on my pretty pride shoes.  I know some of you are yelling right along with the celebration...

Yeah she is finally getting it!

Getting it?

Maybe not fully.

Celebrating?

Yes, I am celebrating a God who is graceful and loving and gentle enough to remind me today...my purpose!

To be in relationship with Him.

That's it!

And that's MORE than enough.

And that purpose I am still celebrating!

Celebrate good times...come on!

Do you like to celebrate?

Are parties your thing?

Do you find it hard to celebate when life seems way too much?

Well this morning I am here to say that God has truly out done Himself on this one, truly!

Today is a braggin on my Jesus day!  Woo-hoo!

So back on April 12th I took a HUGEMONGOUS (sorry for any talented and gifted English peoples, but its a word that truly describes the step I took) and got my girlie self all registered for She Speaks.  Now I attended the conference back in the summer of 2008 and thats what truly helped me step out in faith and get started on the speaking ministry God has called me too.  And let me just tell you honestly...this girlie went in her cute shoes expecting one thing...and truly ended up with a whole lotta Jesus moments...YEAH!  Great stuff my friends...great stuff...and just typing about it gets me all excited again!

So back to the whole HUGEMONGOUS thing...why was it such a big step your asking?  Obviously I have been before so that part shouldn't scare me...well to here it is...

** Jesus was asking me to face the speaker evaluation group again, He wanted my skin to get tougher...again!

** Jesus was asking me to 'take it up a notch', grow some more, (really I am truly pretty comfortable where I am....thanks for asking!)

** Oh and the major detail that SO sticks out in black, white and RED on paper is the whole cost factor...so NOT a little detail in my book.  Yes I know that God has a whole different 'swiss' bank account but seriously I like to see it add up in black and white first...even though red is a favorite color for me...but not when it comes to finances!  Oh and I kept reminded my Jesus..."you know there is the whole plane ticket from this neck of the woods to get me down south...oh and not to mention the cost of the conference, just reminding You Jesus...just reminding You!"

So it was that last big little detail that would then lead me to have others join me in praying for this whole thing. 

And just so you know this girlie got herself all mis-aligned.  I was still trying to work out the details, figure things out, stressing, worrying, doubting, asking...

"Why in the world did I take that HUGEMONGOUS step, seriously!??!"

So I was throwing 'me, myself and I' a pretty nice pitty party...really...and a whole lot of ugly thoughts were accompanied as side dishes...and NO they didn't taste good!

And so in the middle of this pretty pathetic pity party I heard a whisper...

"Nichole just so you know I am the one who asked you to take that HUGEMONGOUS step, and what awaits for you on the other side is me, and I am way worth it!"

Okay I am not really sure what got me more excited...that my Jesus was talking my language or that I was going to get MORE of Him...something that SO gets my heart beating faster...MORE of my Jesus!

So in the midst of all this partying I was doing.

My Jesus was working.

Behind the 'Seens'.

Yep I wasn't seeing it...but He was so all over it.

Last night after tucking my sweet precious boys into bed...I sat down and checked the email and there are plane tickets in my inbox.

The plane tickets that will get this girlie from her neck of the woods down south!

Jesus chose to use a most amazing women that He placed in my life back in 2000.  The very first dentist I ever worked for.  A woman who has truly invested in something, the work of Jesus!

To say that tears flowed...my heart beat faster...and a MOST amazing feeling filled my heart...would that describe true Jesus joy?

So I am celebrating Jesus this morning...choosing to live fully in this Joy!  And I am also choosing to trust that He is working out all the other details too...because it is the way He works!

I love you Karen!

On Purpose

Do you have regrets?

Not that this blog is always used for my confessions...but I am here in the middle of this Monday morning with some regrets from my weekend!

Oh me and regret are not just 'new friends'...its not like I just discovered regret...nope we have a history!  One I actually regret!

I have regrets from dying my hair the summer before my senior year of highschool...friends let me just tell you blonde hair does not work well with some dye from a box colors...and over the years and much to the Engineers painful eyewitnessing..I have proved this many of times...so I have regrets over trusting a $10 box of hair color.

I have regrets that I returned those shoes a few weeks ago...usually the regret hits when I am feeling weak and want something new to adorn my feet!

I can list a bunch of regrets...eating chocolate cake needing it to fill the void, buying a house before the other one is sold, hoping it will all work out, there were days when Miss Ellie would create dog art on the carpet that I regretted being a dog momma, and I have regrets that I didn't find and marry the Engineer first.  You see I have regrets over decisions I have made.

Yesterday morning I regret speaking out of emotion and frustration...to a member of Jesus' team. 

Oh and just so you know regrets can be little and they can be big.
Some regrets weigh a little and some regrets weigh a ton!

Even though there is the motto...

"Live with no regrets"

Do you have regrets?

Do you regret a missed opportunity?

Do you regret a spoken word?

Do you regret not making a different decision?

Do you ever regret obedience?

I am pretty positive living in sorrow and remorse is NOT what Gods design intended. 

In the ripe age of 33 I am SO a student in this life...for there were hours spent last night with a teacher...an Engineer and some tears.

Living on purpose is about intention...and yes I want to not be living in regret.

I want to be slowing down, thinking it through, and fixing my eyes on Jesus...so that the only thing that can be said of me...'is her heart was totally in beat with her Creator'.

For the antonyms of regret are REJOICE and JOY

And that is the desire of my heart.  Purposefully living in joy...and I know its not a place I can take myself...so I reach out and grab tight to His hand!

"You are good, and what You do is good"  Psalm 119:68

Holding His hand and living fully in His grace and love.  In relationship with Him...a place I know I won't regret!


I run for dear life to God, I'll never live to regret it. Do what you do so well: get me out of this mess and up on my feet. Put your ear to the ground and listen, give me space for salvation. Be a guest room where I can retreat; you said your door was always open! You're my salvation—my vast, granite fortress. Psalm 71:1

Give and Take

Do you feel like something has been taken away from you?

Or maybe...

Do you feel like you are waiting for God to give you something?

Is it too much to say we can probably find ourselves in one of these positions?

Dealing with the missing.

Or maybe...

Waiting to get.

Do we believe there is blessing in both positions?

I want to encourage you to join me today...I am listening to this song...and lifting my eyes to the One who I believe does Give and Take Away.

On Purpose!

Quit Licking

Do you ever have those days were you just seem to focus on the irritants...the little annoyances? Is there really such thing as a 'little' annoyance? If something is annoying its annoying..right?

I want to caution you today that if you are in the process of making a decision to bring home a dog...this blog might not be the place for you today.

Seriously!

I have had my Ellie girl since she was 7 weeks old. We have bonded. We get each other. We love each other.

So about a month ago her shampoo ran out...a special sensitive skin type shampoo..that we purchased in the previous city...well being in a little bit of a time crunch...okay mainly the crunch had to do that the Miss Ellie was stinkin' up the house and the boys were starting to complain...I know shocking...boys complain about smell...anyway...I snagged some 'make do' shampoo...and it has left Miss Ellie a mess. She is all itchy, annoyed and now has a licking obsession...its what dogs do...for those of you who are not first hand experienced dog people...when something is bothering them they lick. Okay some dogs scratch...not Miss Ellie. Lick...lick...lick!

Now because I consider you all my friends I have NOT included audio in this blog...

Becuase all you would hear is a dog with an OCD licking obsession...and a

girlie who is high on hormones and low on chocolate and shoes...yelling...

"Quit Licking"

We are in the process of switching back to her 'preferred' shampoo...but it takes time people...and so the licking is still present...

And really if you are considering bringing home a dog...not all 8years have been 'licking' years...there are other issues...but for the sake of me wanting you to bring home a 'new family member' I will let you experience those for yourselves!

Life is kinda of like that...you take the good with the bad!

You intervene when you must.

You monitor.

You use repetition.

And you yell

"Quit Licking"

When appropriate!

Failure

Hey thanks for clicking open the blog…with a title like that it can be kind of overwhelming!

In the state I grew up in, you could go and get your drivers license at the age of 16.First I took the behind the wheel test, passed and then it was on to the written portion of the test…which if my memory serves me correctly was actually done on a computer. I took the test and afterward went up to the DMV lady behind the counter for my results…”failed”.

I would have to come back and re-take the test.

I attended college to earn a degree in dental hygiene. I took two years of pre-req’s and then applied for the dental hygiene program. I was accepted into the program and worked very hard for two years. My senior year of hygiene school was very intense, I was taking 20+ credits a term, seeing patients in clinic, senior project, working part time, pursuing my “potential husband”, and studying for boards. To obtain my dental hygienist license I had to take a written and clinical anesthesia board, a national written exam, graduate and take clinical boards.

I took my clinical boards and then had to wait for the results to come in the mail.

I was going out to the mailbox everyday in anticipation. One day my results came in the mail. I ran back into my apartment tore open the big envelope and the only word that stood out on the page was “FAILED”…it was in big black bold letters…and the text seemed to get bigger and bolder the longer I stood there.

I would have to wait a period of time and re-take the clinical board exam.

If it is one thing this prideful, perfectionist, stubborn, needing to be in control girlie doesn’t do well with it is failure!

I think I could list things I haven’t tried in my life because I was too afraid of failing. Maybe you can relate and maybe you can’t. To continue on the whole honesty and bearing my heart here on the blog today…I was truly afraid of being a mom…its why I told myself and others for awhile “I just don’t think I will be a mom” .I was quite alright with it…I didn’t want to fail!

But God.

He has other plans for us. I am a mom…and just so you know…I don’t drive a car pool…in case you are still concerned about me failing the whole drivers test…oh and currently the only teeth cleaning I do…is my dogs!

In just these past few days…I have been presented with a different aspect of the fear of failing.

Failing in my faith.

Now please hear my heart on this…and keep with me. I am not ready to cash in the whole thing…my relationship with my Jesus is my purpose for living…I am sure of that!

But I fear if I don’t stretch my faith…walk out in faith…leap in faith…grab on to my Jesus’ hand and just go for it…

Then I could be failing the whole faith thing.

I have been reading in Mark chapters 4-6 these past few days. And there is a bunch of faith examples.

At the end of Mark 4…the disciples find themselves in a storm and Jesus asks them…

“Why are you so afraid? Do you still have not faith?” Mark 4:40

Fear and faith.

In Mark chapter 5 we see Jairus come to Jesus in faith.

“My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live” Mark 5:22

And a women who had suffered many years, reaches out in faith and touches His robe.

“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:34

Faith takes the place of fear. Faith heals. Faith gives life.

Yesterday as I sat and listened to Pastor Mike preach an amazing sermon, there was one verse and question that has stuck with me.

This is Jesus speaking…

“I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” John 14:12

Do I believe Jesus? Really ‘greater things’ then Him? Do I have that kind of faith?

Jesus is the truth. What He says is!

So this morning as I was asking God to make the connection between what I know in my head and catch my heart up…I read this in Mark 6…

“He could not do any miracles there, except lay His hands on a few sick people and heal them. And He was amazed at their lack of faith.” Mark 6:5-6

Jesus wanted to do greater things. He had greater things to do…but the people let their pride and unbelief get in the way!

I am afraid to fail. That’s the honest to goodness truth.

But I hear my Jesus on this one…and I know in Him all things are possible.

This faith thing is not something I will get right every time…or even be able to perfect…He perfects our faith! Amen!

I find myself on this Monday hearing His voice, listening and obeying.

Am I scared? You bet!

But faith requires action.

And in my action I am choosing to believe Jesus is faithful to fulfill His promises!

The End Has Come

This morning I found myself in Ezekiel 7 in my Life Application Study Bible and the title for the chapter is,

The End Has Come

In this chapter Ezekiel is revealing what God has told him. The complete destruction of Judah. The end. God has had enough, and it is finished. Wow what a way to start the morning, a little heavy hearted...a pretty strong message.

But being the bold girl I am...I truly do appreciate how bold God can be. No fluff...just get down to business.

So I started to think about ends.

The end of a line.

The end of the day.

The end of the pregnancy.

The end of a meal.

The end of a game.

The end of a book.

The end of the school year.

The end of a life.

I truly think 'ends' can be both easy and hard. Some ends we look forward to and enjoy, while others we would rather not address, like the end of a chocolate and shoe addiction...I am so fighting it!

But I think God has called us to look at in the light of His truth.

As I personally watch some 'ends' in these days of my life, I am praying

"then you will know that I am the LORD" Ezekiel 7:4

So that I may know,

That all the days are ordained by a Creator on purpose. (Psalm 139:16)

That truly God is patient, graceful and loving.

"The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

So I join in praying with a man who I love and look up to in so many ways, my daddy. Praying with our whole hearts for his parents. I join him in lifting these two who were created in the very image of our God, knowing that grace and love abounds for them. Praying and trusting that the Creators purpose is to be in relationship with them.

"Then they will know that I am the LORD" Ezekiel 7:27

Praying and knowing that Gods perfect will has a time and a purpose.

Jesus thank You for my daddy who is boldly and courageously taking steps. Love on him in ways only You can do. Thank You! Amen

My Heart Needed This

Hello friends...I just went and read this and boy did Jesus ever speak to my heart!

Nicki at "Three Girly Girlz" is sharing some Jesus today...well she does every time she writes but I am really moved by what she is sharing today!

Please go check it out here!

I am praying and knowing that this post will speak and move in the hearts of His people!

Thank you Nicki for speaking His truth so boldly!

A Woman Watched

Have you ever seen a woman...a woman who inspires you to be MORE?

A woman who leads you to love more. A woman who helps pace your breathing. A woman whose heart gives grace. A woman whose smile is pure.

A woman who is living her faith each day.

I have the amazing opportunity right now to see such a woman. For she is within view. She is a woman who is being watched by many.

Not watched with a critical eye. Watched with eyes and hearts that are wondering 'how is she?' 'Could I do that?'

Watching and wanting to do something. Watching and desiring to help.

The words she spoke last night stayed with me through the night and into today.

"I have spent much time crying"

She is a mom.

She is watching her sons body be hit hard with cancer, chemo, pain, sores, aches, and hours of yuck!

As I am praying today for this beautiful woman, God has whispered for me to share,

Shari I love you, but MORE importantly your Creator loves you and adores you! He knows this is hard, overwhelming, and SO not fun. He is catching each one of those tears, and He wants them to keep coming.

As I watch, I can see Him. I can see her breathing Him in and breathing Him out. As I watch I am encouraged and reminded that God is real and He is present. I am reminded He works. Not in ways that we will always understand.

As I watch, I am inspired to know that true grace, love and beauty is REAL, because as I watch I see it in her.

A woman watched.

The exchange

My biggest little guys feet keep growing...I am sure if you are a parent...you probably have dealt with this too!

So to the shoe store we went. Well for you this might be kinda of hard to imagine...but me and shoe stores have 'issues'. Not very healthy ones to say the least.

And being a girl who has tried...not in my own strength mind you...to let the sugar and chocolate not rule my days...I have tried not using them to deal with hormones and emotions. I have tried to not classify chocolate as a need. Tried!

So not having a chocolate crutch has just maybe left me needing a nother crutch...one in which I exchanged one crutch for another?!

So I find myself on Friday in a shoe store...we find two pairs of shoes for the biggest little guy...and it just so happens that I find two pairs of shoes for the momma. Needed?...nope! Wanted and desired?...yep!

Void fillers?...yes!

I won't go into all the details my friends...you have a Monday to live out...but lets just say there was OVER 24 hours of me trying to justify them!

My mind...and thoughts were totally consumed with these shoes!

Oh and maybe there were some hours even trying...begging...pleading the Engineer to justify them...or maybe even a girlie who was trying to have the Engineer tell me to take them back...cause then it would be all his fault and he would be the bad guy.

To wrap this up...

This girl was returning those shoes on Saturday...tears...madness...frustration all went into that store.

A whole lot of self talk...not healthy self talk was going on...and I am sure the lady at the return counter wondered what was going on?!?!

But I am happy to say the shoes are back sitting on the shelf in the store...NOT in my closet.

The exchange as hard as it was will be worth it..because the void can now be filled with more of my Jesus!

And even though I don't have the complete connection...He's making it for me...

The exchange on Friday...the one where He went to the cross in my place

And then on Sunday was raised with a whole lot of power...

Just maybe that power will fill that void...who knows...

May we trust that when He asks us to lay it down, give it up, take it back, make the exchange, He has something MUCH better to replace it with!