Monday, April 5, 2010

The exchange

My biggest little guys feet keep growing...I am sure if you are a probably have dealt with this too!

So to the shoe store we went. Well for you this might be kinda of hard to imagine...but me and shoe stores have 'issues'. Not very healthy ones to say the least.

And being a girl who has tried...not in my own strength mind let the sugar and chocolate not rule my days...I have tried not using them to deal with hormones and emotions. I have tried to not classify chocolate as a need. Tried!

So not having a chocolate crutch has just maybe left me needing a nother in which I exchanged one crutch for another?!

So I find myself on Friday in a shoe store...we find two pairs of shoes for the biggest little guy...and it just so happens that I find two pairs of shoes for the momma. Needed?...nope! Wanted and desired?...yep!

Void fillers?...yes!

I won't go into all the details my have a Monday to live out...but lets just say there was OVER 24 hours of me trying to justify them!

My mind...and thoughts were totally consumed with these shoes!

Oh and maybe there were some hours even trying...begging...pleading the Engineer to justify them...or maybe even a girlie who was trying to have the Engineer tell me to take them back...cause then it would be all his fault and he would be the bad guy.

To wrap this up...

This girl was returning those shoes on Saturday...tears...madness...frustration all went into that store.

A whole lot of self talk...not healthy self talk was going on...and I am sure the lady at the return counter wondered what was going on?!?!

But I am happy to say the shoes are back sitting on the shelf in the store...NOT in my closet.

The exchange as hard as it was will be worth it..because the void can now be filled with more of my Jesus!

And even though I don't have the complete connection...He's making it for me...

The exchange on Friday...the one where He went to the cross in my place

And then on Sunday was raised with a whole lot of power...

Just maybe that power will fill that void...who knows...

May we trust that when He asks us to lay it down, give it up, take it back, make the exchange, He has something MUCH better to replace it with!


~*~KIMBERLY~*~ said...

Yes, LORD! Thank You Jesus!

From the Heart said...

Good for you. I'm afraid I would have kept them and had the chocolate also.

So thankful that Jesus loves us right where we are and one day I will stand before Him and thank Him for all the things He has done.

Runner Mom said...

i am so proud of you! He is enough :).

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

It might have been shoes for you, but for me (at least recently) it's been new dishes. I've wanted a new set for years, the old ones having been in my possession for 23 years! Thus, the hunt's been on for a perfect fit; found my fit and the costly pricetag attached to them. Ordered them (they're hand-thrown pottery that cannot be returned now that I've special ordered them) and wouldn't you know...

Today I walked into Wal-Mart and found a pattern I could live with that was a whole lot cheaper. Only problem, can't return the pottery. In the end, I know I will cherish my new for a long season, but could have done with less. Wish I was doing with less.

Oh the guilt of it all. I imagine they'll be eating off of these dishes at my funeral!

At a deeper level, so very thankful for the great exchange of Calvary. I was given everything in that one moment... everything, and God is more than enough to satisfy any temporary craving of my flesh.

I'll keep that in mind the next time the urge to purchase hits.


Kimberly said...

Way to go! :)

The thing is, He is so sweet. It isn't about Him not wanting you to have shoes. It's not about Him wanting to take stuff from us just to take. It's all about Him wanting us to get all of Him that we can possibly get...because He is the BEST thing we can ever have! But if our hearts are already full, well, you know...there's not so good stuff filling up the spots where AWESOME, AMAZING God stuff could be.

Oh, and I totally have chocolate no condemnation here on you having trouble! Proud of you for taking those shoes back! I know He will bless your heart that longs for more of Him most of all!!!

jenn said...

LOVE that!!! It speaks to me as it was just last night I knew I didn't need that cookie. I wasn't physically hungry and I knew I met my calorie consumption many hours before but the self-talk was there and reading this blog reminds me I'm not the only one who goes through the struggles of saying yes to my Jesus and no to my sugar cravings.

Lori said...

Aahh, this really hit home with me Nichole ~ Only with me it was not one, but (2) purses! Yes, 2! The thoughts, (from the master enemy himself!)...The obsession...The wanting, and TOTALLY not needing! I did not buy them, but these items were on my mind for many days. Over and over I prayed to take away these earthy wishes. As He makes me more holy, it is HIM that is my heart's desire.

Aahh, but girlie and her purses!