Where I am...really!

On Saturday January 10th of this year it was as if someone flipped a light switch on that controlled my life. I have had a constant headache everyday since then. A headache that will intensify with no notice and sometime for no apparent reason. I have blurry vision and my eyes feel tired most of the time. Too much movement of my head causes me to be dizzy and lightheaded. My neck is either stiff or painful. When I lower my head down to do normal everyday tasks like take laundry out of the washer, zip up a little guys jacket, buckle a little one into a car seat the pain and pressure increases in my head and there is a sharp shooting pain that goes down my neck into my back. My arms feel weak and tired, and my hands/fingers tingle. There is pain in my lower back. There is a burning sensation in my knees, and my legs are tired and weak. My toes are tingly.

I have struggled with sharing parts of this for a long time. I have bounced between its my story and its no ones business. And I most definitely am not sharing for pity or of someone to feel sorry for me. I also don’t want to convey the message that my life is harder or more important. Many people, many family members and friends are going through very tough times too!


I have been reading about a whole lot of healing that Jesus did in the Bible. There are many times when Jesus would heal someone and then He would instruct them to not share their story because it wasn’t the right time. (Luke 8:56) Then this morning I read these words:

"Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him. Luke 8:39

I have to be honest with you. I am still smack dab in the middle of this storm. A storm that is very strong and very real and is not just affecting me but the lives of my husband and my boys. So even this morning I asked God ‘why do you want me to share where I am?’

His answer:

Because I want you to tell people that I am with you. That I am protecting your family. I want people to know that I am bringing you peace. Share with them that I am working, even in the midst of this storm.


And because of who He is, I am at peace knowing He is in control. I am choosing to believe He will bring purpose to this!

Please be in prayer for:

1- The Engineer and our two little guys, as this storm is very hard on them!
2- MRI appointment tomorrow
3- Doctor appointments next week to review MRI results and meet with a Neurologist at the University of Washington.

Father God You are Sovereign. In Your mighty hands You hold all that is precious and dear to You. You are in control. You know the way, and how it will come to be and You fully understand. I pray Your complete will to be lived out in my life. I pray I submit and I offer to you a teachable, honest and humble heart. You are the provider of all we will ever need. Please forgive me for holding onto things that need to be released to You so that You can work. May I see others how Your grace filled loving heart sees them. Remove from me temptations. Keep my eyes fixed on You. For You are to be glorified in everything! I love You Lord-Amen.