Monday, March 2, 2009

Confessions

Have you ever spent time trying to figure out what you are working for? What your goal is? What you are trying to earn?


Confessions of a Daughter:
I would have to be honest and say that growing up as a daughter to my parents I spent most of my time trying to earn their love, not that they were requiring it on their end. But rather I found myself trying to earn their approval and acceptance. I worked hard to give them reasons to love me. Grades, extracurricular activities, sports, dressed appropriately, had the right friends.

Confessions of a Sister:
While being honest I would have to admit that I tried to pave a road, make things smooth and easy for my younger sister. You know a most excellent way to follow and walk in. And when her steps didn't quite line up with mine, I spent too much time wondering where I went wrong and got her off track.

Confessions of a Wife:
Did you know that marriage is Gods design and NOT mine! Yeah well this took my much trial and error too figure this one out. I was stubborn, prideful and arrogant enough to try it my way the first time and fell smack dab into a very ugly mess. One only He could clean up! So with His grace of a second chance I am still learning big words like submission and love!

Confessions of a Friend:
Careful to share too much, for what if they saw that I had real thoughts, real hurts. Keeping friends at a distance would be more comfortable for me. When would I realize that friends and relationships were not about me. But rather that a relationship was meant to be real, genuine and needed to be focused on the other person!

Confessions of a Mom:
I didn't want to be a mom, why? Well to be perfectly honest it would be something I KNEW I couldn't control. I was a very observant bystander of the moms in the stores. Why weren't they controlling the temper tantrums? Would I have a special secret? What about the heartache of something happening to your children that you couldn't prevent like an accident, an illness? Thankfully God knew better, He knew just what it would take to teach me that I am NOT in control and that pride would be stripped in the form of two amazing little boys! Two little boys who would teach their momma that "Even mommies make mistakes" and grace and love are sitting right there to wrap their arms around me!

Overall Confession:
I have spent many years of my life focused on the wrong goals, the wrong rewards and the wrong prizes. I have focused on the approval and acceptance of others. I have tried to walk my journey as if it would keep someone elses steps right on. I have focused on doing the thing that keeps me looking right. I have wasted time worrying I wouldn't be able to do it and so I didn't try. I was concerned that I wouldn't hear the words of praise and adoration from a large audience.

Thankfully there is One who has taken my confessions and has wrapped me in His loving arms and has whispered in my ear that there is only one goal, one reward, one prize I need to be concerned about!


Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14 (emphasis mine)


The one goal, the one prize, the one reward is Jesus!

You see my One Purpose is to get Him! To accept Him. To receive Him. To be in relationship with Him.

May we come to know Him as He has meant for us to know Him!

5 comments:

TAMI said...

I'll be done with jury duty in about two weeks - looking forward to returning to my 'normal' life, knowing all my future living will be impacted by the experience. When that 'normal' does return, I'm looking forward to visiting your blog on a regular basis. Just popping in for a quite hello!

Edie said...

I've been thinking along these lines lately too. "Insecurities" they hurt us not help us.

Still praying for you. Give us a report when there's news. Love ya!

Sue J. said...

Hmmmm...there's a lot of really good stuff here. I wish I had had your sister track instead of mine (I was trying to out-do her...forget having her follow me, she was too far ahead! Terrible.... We're in such a much better place now!).

Anyhow, that's a lot of thinking and a lot of truthfulness. And I know I feel so thankful when He brings these kinds of realizations to my forefront! I think it's important to celebrate this kind of progress in the process...Praise God and Go Nichole!!

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Confessions free us in a way only they can...and of course through God.

~*~KIMBERLY~*~ said...

Praise God Nichole. I love how your expressed this message with God's guidance.

Lord, Father God, I thank You for putting Nichole in my path and using her to teach me what You are trying to get me to learn. I pray in Jesus' name, amen.