Monday, October 20, 2008

A different kind of island vacation

By my very nature I love to be comfortable. I don't care for things that make me feel uncomfortable. However, I am currently in a season of life that is uncomfortable for me. I have been experiencing this 'uncomfortable feeling' for about two weeks now. Last night I was finally able to share a word picture of what this feels like. **Side note "Thanks babe for listening and being who God needed you to be last night, I love you!"**

I feel like God has placed me out on an island, and its very lonely out here. And for the last two weeks I have stood on the beach waiting for any boat that comes up to the shore and grabbed on to it to pull it closer to me to fill the void of this lonely uncomfortable feeling. The boats have had different distractions in them people, food, anything other than God. Last night while I was sharing it out loud with Steve and then this morning God has revealed to me, I am on this island for His purpose. He has placed me here to strip me of pride, selfishness, and unhealthy dependency on others and food. He has brought me here to refine me. To make me more like Himself. Wow, what an awesome privelege, and yet I have an icky attitude about it! To which He whispers into my heart...'don't worry My child I can work on that attitude thing too!' Last night when I said out loud, "I am lonely out here on this island" I could actually see the disappointment in my Creators face, the hurt I caused Him. Hello Nichole....God is all over this island how could you be lonely when the God who created you, loves you and wants to spend time with you is here with you?

So how long am I here? I am not sure, but I do know now that I trust God is doing this for all the right reasons. Not to make me feel lonely, but to bring me closer to His heart.

As much as I would like to invite you to come visit me on my island I have been instructed I can't!! So my invitation is this, will you embrace where you currently are today? Will you see God has you where He needs you to be? Will you let Him refine you?

"Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy"
Leviticus 19:2


Kimberly said...

I am reading an amazing book right now. It is called "anonymous" by Alicia Britt Chole. I am honestly on an island very much like yours. Being stipped of two of those exact things you just dependence on others and on food. Anyways, you may want to look into this book. It talks about those periods of life where you feel alone, uncelebrated, unnoticed, like you aren't getting to fulfill your those times are the birthplace of true spiritual strength.

I was struggling this weekend with looking for some approval and affirmation from someone. I was brought to tears when I felt God ask me, "Did (this person) die for you? Did she take the nails for you?" No, Lord. You did.

Anyways, know that though you are alone on your island, you are not alone in being on an island. Does that make sense? :)

Praying for you! And trusting in the awesome and perfect work He is doing in you!
Lots of love,

Anonymous said...

The Refiners fire....Ouch, oh how this hurts. The Potter has beautiful hands to mold, embrace us, shape us, use us, fill us full of His living water. But oh how I run when it comes time to be put in the kiln. The heat, the flame, the time it takes to fix the cracks, to be the holy vase he intends me to be, oh how the fire hurts, heals, loves. Yes Lord I know I need the refinement, but sometimes I just want to let you wet your hands and mold me again, show me the changes, shape me, hold me, take away the fears of the fire. I want, I need your refinement,Lord let me embrace, where Iam today.Father I thank you so much for your loving touch, you let those who choose you, show how to let you mold us. In the Potters hands I place myself today, take this lump of clay and prepare me for the fire. I Love You and it is in Your Name, I pray. Amen
Thank you my sweet child, and know Jesus Loves and he is not finished,He is doing a good work in you..Love, Hugs, And Prayers

Runner Mom said...

Nichole, I am praying for you right now! God is good...He will not let your foot slip while you are on the island! He is surrounding you with His love. I am waiting patiently with you to see what His plans are that will prosper you. He will do an awesome work through you....give Him time.
Love ya,

Amy said...

Nicole, beautiful post. Sometimes God takes us to place He needs us to be to do a great work in us. I know you have blessed me with your openness and prayers. God bless you in the journey. :)

Joyful said...

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14

Have you ever heard Steven Curtis Chapman's song, "Treasure Island"? If not, check out the lyrics here:

Praying for you!

Mary said...

Force yourself to dig deep!
God promises to never leave you nor forsake you. Joshua 1:5, Heb. 13:5
Lonelines is an emotion from satan the father of lies.
We don't base our lives on feelings, but On Purpose! Our Purpose rests in our faith in God.
Love to you!

Chatty Kelly said...

Nichole - we've all been on that island, I think. I'm praying you have a homecoming soon, refreshed by time alone with God.

Jamie @ Purposeful Pursuit said...

Excellent post! I can totally relate. Those difficult times are often times that drive us to God.

Cindy said...

I think there are times in all of our lives when we are on that lonely island or in that seemingly forsaken wilderness. It is such a vital time in our walks with God.

Yes, HE IS there with you. HE IS all you need. HE does have things to show and teach you.

Just like HE does with each of us.

I hope it is a short season for you but a very fruitful one.

Blessings, Cindy

Nicole said...

I love the song Refiner's Fire. I remember a specific time in my life when that song meant so much to me. Isn't it amazing how a song can take you back??? Let God mold and shape you my friend. I admire your willingness to go dip even when it hurts. That's what God wants from all of us. What's a little pain when we can have a clear view of God and his love for us??? Love to you my friend!!!

We are victorious in Him because that's what our name means. Remember to claim victory in this time my friend! I'm excited to see where he takes you and the many more lives you will reach because of your willingness to go deep. Not everyone is willing to go where you have in your walk...most turn away at the site of the pain that they see ahead...

I do believe you are right where He wants you. Like Kim said you may feel alone but you are not. There are others that are going through their own "stuff" that is the same but different at the same time. Hope that makes sense. As you can tell I am passionate for going dip and letting God refine. I will quit now. I could go on forever.

Leebird said...

If it's any consolation...I think my island is next door to your island! :) You know me well enough to know I'm going thru a similar season.

We can just pray for each other and let God do His "thang!"

Love you bunches and thanking God for giving you to me. Lee

ThreeGirlyGirls said...

Oh girl....when we were at She Speaks, which I so badly wish we could've met up, the night where they had the "lay it all down at the cross time"...this is exactly what God showed me.

This journey isn't about having a blast with our best girlfriends and even maybe our's lonely, I totally know. It's amazing how we can be "surrounded" by so many, yet feel so alone.

I will pray that God will send just the right people along your journey, but also that you would soak up this precious time with Him! I love you!

Jami @ livelaughlove5 said...

Nichole I love your heart. Praying for you!

Edie said...

I know that place well. I did a study some time ago (I think it was on Elijah) and something that stood out was that God always gets a person alone before He uses them.
Praying for you.