It has been a rough past few weeks and if I told you I have been enjoying myself, liking it or even been a really good girl during the process, it would be a lie.
I want to be honest, humble and teachable. I am holding on very tight to my Creators hand.
There are a lot of things I don't have right now:
I don't have the ability to care for my family, to cook, and clean for them like I truly desire to do.
I don't have the ability to get on the floor and wrestle, tickle and play with my boys.
I don't have the ability to drive.
I don't have pain free, headache free, days.
I don't have the answers of what is going on with my body.
I don't have a diagnosis.
But the great news is:
I got me Jesus!!!!God has promised me that nothing and no one will take our relationship away. He has placed a protective seal on it...and its NOT coming off! So even though in the past few weeks I have felt like my purpose was slipping away...He has gently reminded me each day..."
no Nichole, remember I created you for the purpose of a relationship with Me!"There is such healing in that alone....I get it! Okay...I am sure there will be many more lessons to come...to which I say 'bring them on' as I know they will only bring me closer to Him.
Living-not on my terms or even in my strength
My Life- a life He created and He is taking care of
On purpose- in relationship with Him
As I wait, He is NOT standing still! For He is working out the details, one of them being my heart! He is reminding me not to focus on the answers, the diagnosis, or even the healing, but rather our relationship!
I will be visiting a Neurologist on the 18th of this month, sooner if there is an opening/cancellation. Please continue to pray!
Words that came yesterday to a heart that needed them so much:
"
We don't always know the words to pray, but thats okay, because when we have Jesus, He takes the right words, the perfect words to God for us, He interecedes for us!"
Does that not just sing to your heart? Friends its not about praying right...its just about praying!
I truly feel blessed to be surrounded with a family and friends who are willing to journey on purpose together.
I love you! I love you for being amazing Christ followers!
Keep praying, keep believing....oh and
Go get yourself some Jesus today!!!!