It has been a rough past few weeks and if I told you I have been enjoying myself, liking it or even been a really good girl during the process, it would be a lie.
I want to be honest, humble and teachable. I am holding on very tight to my Creators hand.
There are a lot of things I don't have right now:
I don't have the ability to care for my family, to cook, and clean for them like I truly desire to do.
I don't have the ability to get on the floor and wrestle, tickle and play with my boys.
I don't have the ability to drive.
I don't have pain free, headache free, days.
I don't have the answers of what is going on with my body.
I don't have a diagnosis.
But the great news is:
I got me Jesus!!!!
God has promised me that nothing and no one will take our relationship away. He has placed a protective seal on it...and its NOT coming off! So even though in the past few weeks I have felt like my purpose was slipping away...He has gently reminded me each day..."no Nichole, remember I created you for the purpose of a relationship with Me!"
There is such healing in that alone....I get it! Okay...I am sure there will be many more lessons to come...to which I say 'bring them on' as I know they will only bring me closer to Him.
Living-not on my terms or even in my strength
My Life- a life He created and He is taking care of
On purpose- in relationship with Him
As I wait, He is NOT standing still! For He is working out the details, one of them being my heart! He is reminding me not to focus on the answers, the diagnosis, or even the healing, but rather our relationship!
I will be visiting a Neurologist on the 18th of this month, sooner if there is an opening/cancellation. Please continue to pray!
Words that came yesterday to a heart that needed them so much:
"We don't always know the words to pray, but thats okay, because when we have Jesus, He takes the right words, the perfect words to God for us, He interecedes for us!"
Does that not just sing to your heart? Friends its not about praying right...its just about praying!
I truly feel blessed to be surrounded with a family and friends who are willing to journey on purpose together.
I love you! I love you for being amazing Christ followers!
Keep praying, keep believing....oh and
Go get yourself some Jesus today!!!!
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Drifting or Dwelling
14 hours ago
15 comments:
As I read your post, I myself had God whisper sweet words to my ears, oh little one when you have no words, be still and dance with me. Let your mind quietly wonder in fields of grace. Let yourself be filled knowing I am God. Let my arms embrace you as we sway to and fro; this my children is sweet embrace, no words, just the peace that surpasses all understanding knowing I am with you.
Loving and Praying for you, knowing God will give you moments of sweet embrace today.
Love Mom
I love that verse....when I can't mouth the words myself, except through the groans of my pain, that the Holy Spirit takes my requests to Him. And He knows!
Go get some Jesus....! Economic times won't make Him any less available or any less valuable. He's the One and Only. This is great, Nichole!
Keep up your good humor and "care for nothing," says that verse from Philippians 4 in the King James, meaning not even should your own thoughts own you. Turn it all over to Him!
Your heart for Him is ever beautiful! I will for sure continue to pray.
Blessed to read of a life that is lived for Him, no matter what...
K :)
I'm so sorry you've been suffering like this. I pray the docs give you a diagnosis and a plan of action.
SO many of your words ring true. It's all abouta relationship with God. It's not about our comforts, desires, needs. It's about Him. It's still so hard to grasp that when we have such needs placed before us.
I do understand that. A close friend just yesterday sent me similar words...it's not about our marriages/prodigal spouses, it is about our relationships with God. What He wants to do in us and not our prodigal spouses. (She too has a broken marriage through divorce and is believing in God's power that He can and will restore.)
It's a hard road but would we really choose it any differently. Give me anything this world throws at me, but don't take my Jesus.
Thank the Lord for His protective seal, His super glue on our relationship that can never be taken from us.
Prayers,
Paula
Glad you have EVERYTHING you need! You have Jesus. Now if we can get you some things we want, less pain, more energy. Praying for you!
Very well put! Love it.
I'm so sorry Nichole. I've had some health struggles this last week too. I will be praying for you. He has you in His hands and won't let go.
Love you.
I just said a prayer for you.
As a migraine sufferer, I understand completely.
Nichole, your heart and attitude rings true through this time of unknown and suffering. You're the real deal my friend, and your response to your circumstances has encouraged my heart. You have kept your eyes fixed on Jesus despite pain and energy loss. Praying for you. So glad that you got you Jesus and that He's got you!
Love & prayers,
Joy
Amennn, We have to have a relationship with him, we have to fall in Love with him.... I got me some Jesus!!
GREAT POST
Still praying for you...my friend my sister in christ
Hugggsss and Love
I have been suffering from nearly debilitating migraines for several weeks ~ In fact I just posted last night regarding them ~ yet today is the second painfree day in I don't remember how long!
Praising God!
Lifting you up because I truly do understand the power of a headache but I also know that POWER of GOD!!!
Blessings to You,
Cindy
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this tough time right now! But girl....you just hang onto your Jesus because He is better than anything!! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!! Amen!
Oh sweet Nichole. I am so sorry to hear of your pain. I feel lead to tell you to make sure and take care of yourself during this time. That means all sense of the word. Physical, emotional, and spiritual. Right now you do not have a lot to give and trust me I know that is hard, but rest assured that God is building you up for bigger things. You have been so much to so many and I do believe that God is well pleased but now it is time for God to build you up and send you out!
Rest my dear friend! I am praying that you are able to embrace your current situation and accept it. You may not like it and I don't blame you one bit but God has you right where he wants you. He wants to bring you out of Egypt to the land flowing with milk and honey. He will not leave you stranded.
And yes, I do agree with Joy. You are the real deal. No, not perfect, but surrendered. I love you.
John 16:33 says,
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Thank you Jesus for my friend Nichole. Thank you for her love for you. Please Lord Jesus never leave her side. I know you wont and you haven't. Please send your angels to surround her as she rests right now. Protect her Lord. Bring her to new heights in you. Dear Jesus I know you don't like this pain that she is going through either but we know you can see the future and you know what you are doing. We trust you Lord. Amen.
Praying for answers in this time of uncertainty.
Love,
Nicole
Woo Hoo!!! I GOT JESUS!!
Praise God!
Dear Father, Thank You for Nichole. I lift her up in prayer to YOU as You work out the details of her life. I pray and ask for Your grace & mercy to fill her and overflow her. I thank You in advance for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus' name, amen.
I am so sorry for the burden you are carrying right now. Still and yet, you find your praise rightly placed on Jesus. You are an amazing witness of his presence and portion as you walk through these uncertain times.
Thank you for allowing us to share in your journey.
peace~elaine
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